Oh, gritty fairy tale murder mystery Grimm. What are we going to do with you? While we love the fun twists you've given the Pied Piper and the Three Little Pigs, we still don't give a Blutbaden's cuss about any of these characters. Ah well, there's always this clip of a man killed by hundreds of sweet rat kisses.

This week we had double dose of Grimm, and while the fractured fairy tales were fun, I couldn't care less if the character Nick quit his job and started selling horse meat out of the trunk of his car. While Nick has a king's chin, we still have no idea who this guy is and what is going on behind those big beautiful doe eyes.

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Is he sad he's a Grimm? Does he want to be friends with Pilates Wolf? Because right now their relationship is insanely one-sided. Clearly, he could give a flying fig if he lost his job as a cop because all Nick does is break the law over and over again while Sgt. Wu and his obnoxious partner stand in the background prattling off puns. These aren't characters. They're wax figures someone stole from Madame Tussauds and forced to recite clever twisted fairy tales. Which is fun, but it's getting old!

Monroe had wild Wolfman sex in the forest, and all I could think was this woman is a murderer and NO ONE CARES. His friend was shot on his front steps and Monroe's anger management is having a glass of white wine. WHY WHAT, EMOTE YOU WAX BEINGS EMOTE!

Anyway, let's talk about the fun stuff for a hot second. The two episodes were focused around the Pied Piper, redressed as a catty version of deadmau5 (which was pretty cute) and a bloody retelling of the Three Little Pigs. The Pied Piper tale was in and out. Prodigy kid is framed by rich kids in his art school, tries to kill them with rats, but doesn't in the end, so we're all better people. What was fun was the cat head he wore when DJing and the fact that his go-to piper jam was Danse Macabre composed by Saint SaĂŤns (also the title of this episode and the delightful Faust play from Tombstone).

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The second episode to air last week blew the lid off the rivalry between the Blutbadens and the Bowerswines (a.k.a. Wolf People and Pig People). A cop who's also a pig person (we get it!) is murdering a pack of Blutbadens one-by-one to take revenge for the murders of his brothers. Turns out the murdered (maybe) is this really gorgeous Blutbaden who used to date Pilates Wolf. They "reconnect" in the woods and meanwhile her brother Happy is shot with a silencer a bunch of times in the chest. I know Pilates Wolf is trying to calm his rage, but these were his friends! Shed a tear, man!

Also I was really hoping the introduction of an old Pilates Wolf lady would expand on who Monroe is. It didn't. Ah, well. The fight itself was pretty exciting. But Bowerswines take mud baths to calm themselves (pig stuff!) and this one particular cop was trying to align himself with Nick the Grimm as they were both killing monsters? What? No, no, no. The special effects were neat, the fun German twinged names are neat, but I'm just going to need more from this show (and soon). Hopefully the police chief will deliver those goods ASAP. Or whenever the bombshells is dropped that Nick's girlfriend is a witch or Evil Queen or something.