Halloween is the season to splatter yourself with the fluids and entrails of the less fortunate. But you could do time for that, so why not just fake it with a little bit of fake blood? Check out some tricks and recipes below.
The fake blood capsules from Halloween supply stores always come in such sad little packages. Surely that's not enough for yourself, your family, and a disturbing scene you create on your front porch with some ground hamburger and a mannequin! Luckily, you can make yourself a bigger batch. There are a lot of different recipes for function and texture, but most of them have ingredients that can be picked up at the grocery store. First grab that old staple, a big bottle of red food coloring, and some corn syrup. After that, it's mostly about getting the texture.
Piles of Gore
If you want your gore to be substantial, you'll want to start with a base of peanut butter. Creamy-style is the safe choice, but if you want to go chunky and adventurous, go ahead. Mix in some soap, some corn syrup, and a lot of red coloring until you get the consistency you want.
Sometimes you need human blood dripping from your mouth, but you don't want to suffer for it. Try mixing some palatable stuff. Start with a base of a half cup of water, so it's good and runny. Add a few tablespoons of corn syrup to make it thick, a teaspoon of red food coloring to make it look like blood, and a tablespoon of cocoa powder to keep it from being the nastiest thing you've put in your mouth.
Grab a bottle of thick barbecue sauce and and add a couple of tablespoons of molasses. Stir in some food coloring and and a couple of spoons of cocoa powder to make it the right color and opacity. This will stick in fake wounds without running out, but it will also be all gross and wet.
No-stain Fake Blood
Get a bottle of red dish washing liquid, add chocolate syrup to get the right darkness and strawberry syrup to get the right color. Alternately, use clear laundry detergent, mixed with red, blue, and green drink mix powder. (This one you'll have to check on a rag to make sure it washes out.) Both of these recipes should come out in the next load of laundry.
Esther's Homemade Heart Jelly and Blood
Way the hell back some friends and I had a school project that involved making a fake ceremony in which someone takes a bite out of a heart. Clearly we did not have a big budget, so it was time to head to the kitchen and improvise. American bread, especially the stuff that gets sold in bright, primary-colored bags, is soft enough to be molded into a rough blob shaped like a human heart. It doesn't have the color of a heart, but that doesn't matter if it's left to sit in a bowl of red jell-o (or off-brand dessert gelatin) until the gel is thick. Then grab the heart out of the gel, add some ketchup darkened with food coloring to the outside (and maybe mush some ketchup into the remaining jell-o and coat your arm with it), carry it out to your audience, and take a bite out of the heart.
You may want to spit right after.