Those of you keeping track at home will remember that the third Halloween film, Season of the Witch, had absolutely nothing to do with Michael Myers chasing Jamie Lee Curtis.

No, it was about an evil Halloween mask manufacturer who sold masks imbued with microchips that contained fragments of Stonehenge. On Halloween night, the masks would activate and disintegrate unlucky children's heads until snakes and spiders oozed out. Also, there was an army of evil androids. I'm not making this up.

Anyway, back in 1983, this ad — which ran in Fangoria — shilled facsimiles of the masks that turned children's heads into herpetological piñatas...which is equal parts screwed up and genius marketing. Anybody want to reboot Halloween 3? I'd pay big money to see that train wreck.

[Via Branded in the 80s]