Sick of vampires who complain about being eternally young and beautiful? Want a vampire whose pain you can laugh at? Behold, the Sabretooth Vampire, who is cursed with an impressive pair of fangs that are more impediment than intimidating.

Mike Russell, the cartooning journalist behind the "CulturePulp" comics featured in the alt-weekly state newspaper The Oregonian, has been riffing on the notion of the Sabretooth Vampire. Not only has he devised some depressing scenarios for the big-toothed vamp, he's also drawn from a wide range of vampire media, from the Universal Monsters to Abbott and Costello to, yes, Twilight.

Yes, it's a one-note joke, and the Sabretooth Vampire seems forever doomed to lodge his fangs in various surfaces. But somehow the schadenfreude never ceases to amuse.

The Sabretooth Vampire [CulturePulp]