So you want to get into the research business, and publish long papers full of footnotes, charts, and formulae in nice academic journals? Then get ready for rejection. Luckily there's one journal that can give you that satisfaction the very first time you submit a paper: It's the Journal of Universal Rejection, whose entire reason for existing is to spurn you.
Founder Caleb Emmons, whose credentials include "math" and "poetry," explains his startling premise in creating this important scientific journal:
The founding principle of the Journal of Universal Rejection (JofUR) is rejection. Universal rejection. That is to say, all submissions, regardless of quality, will be rejected. Despite that apparent drawback, here are a number of reasons you may choose to submit to the JofUR:
* You can send your manuscript here without suffering waves of anxiety regarding the eventual fate of your submission. You know with 100% certainty that it will not be accepted for publication.
* There are no page-fees.
* You may claim to have submitted to the most prestigious journal (judged by acceptance rate).
* The JofUR is one-of-a-kind. Merely submitting work to it may be considered a badge of honor.
* You retain complete rights to your work, and are free to resubmit to other journals even before our review process is complete.
* Decisions are often (though not always) rendered within hours of submission.
And they'll take anything:
You name it, we take it, and reject it. Your manuscript may be formatted however you wish. Frankly, we don't care.
It really is a great start to your new career as a researcher!
You can read their latest (hilarious) rejections on the Universal Rejection blog.