It's official. We're sick of winter, with its never-ending crapstorm of flurries, ice, and flurries and ice that melt into disgusting brown puddles. Then again, we could have it worst. These sentient slush piles could have our world in their icy cold grips.

(Quick note — Mr. Freeze isn't on here, as he was made out of Austrian beefcake and puns.)


Emma Frost
At one point in mid-1990s X-Men mythology, Emma Frost's consciousness was transferred to Iceman's body (the mind switch was sadly not reciprocal). She used Iceman's powers in ways he never had the courage to. For example, she could become sentient water molecules, whereas he tended to cover his human form with ice armor. After he had his mind restored, Iceman was extremely jealous of Emma's mastery of his own ice powers.

The Snow Man (1940)
In this Terrytoons short, group of overly cheerful South Pole denizens (including some geographically misplaced Mickey Mouse rip-off polar bears and an Inuit) build a snowman who comes alive and, during his reign of terror, destroys the organ at a penguin church. I never knew penguins had an organized religion — I can only assume they worship Cthulhu.

Spider-Man — "Trouble With Snow" (1970)
A power line bestows a snowman with murderous sentience. Balk if you must, but if we're going to let reality run things, Peter Parker would have died of radiation poisoning a long time ago.

Spider-Man — "Sub-Zero for Spidey" (1967)
Yes, old-school Spider-Man had a lot of run-ins with sub-zero creatures. In this episode, frozen Plutonians invade New York, but they're just misunderstood, as giant ice monsters are wont to be (no thanks to articles such as the one you're reading).

Conquest of the North Pole (1912)
In Georges Méliès' classic short film, a journey to the far northern climes goes south when a carnivorous ice giant (in reality a huge marionette) begins munching on the happy explorers. You can watch the full film here.


"Invaders of the Ice World" from Strange Tales 79 (1957)
In this bizarre little comic, cold-loving aliens possess snowmen in their quest to plunge Earth into a deep freeze. The snowmen then go on a rampage, blowing up things with their laser eyes. You can read the whole crazed spectacle via Lady That's My Skull.

Zan from The Wonder Twins
Zan wasn't evil as much as he was dreadfully useless. If you needed someone to become an ice hairpin or Stratego board, he was your dude. A reimagining of Zan named Downpour appeared in Justice League Unlimited — this version had a more mercurial temperament and sparred with the Justice League. Downpour was a genetically engineered clone whose powers were slowly killing him, so it was unsurprising he was in a bad mood.

Jack Frost (1996)
Not to be confused with the 1998 "Michael Keaton dies and is resurrected as a snowman" family comedy of the same name, a chemical accident transforms a serial killer into a snowman, as it is a known chemical property of serial killers to assume innocuously stupid forms postmortem. The film was infamous for including possibly the only snowman sexual assault scene in cinema history (starring Shannon Elizabeth, no less).

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)
There was a sequel. Didn't you see it?


The Ice War by Stephen Baxter
In this short tale, 18th century England is invaded by aliens whose bodies are made of ice. You can read it at Asimov's.

Simpsons — Mountains of Madness (1997)
In this episode, Homer and Burns are stuck in a cabin under an avalanche and begin hallucinating. Mr. Burns attempts to best Homer with his hallucinatory army of Nazi snowmen. Enjoy it in Italian.

Beware the Snowman by R.L. Stine
If you were anything like me as a kid, you went to the bookstore and only read the title and the last sentence of any Goosebumps novel. It was all you needed to know.

The Snow Golem from The DC Holiday Special 2009
In this issue, Superman battled a slush heap that had been given sentience thanks to an animating word.

Bad Mr. Frosty from Clayfighter
The goofy 1990s fighting game franchise included this sociopathic frost fellow.

The Ice Giants from Terry Pratchett's Discworld
They're not so much villainous as they are weird, but the Ice Giants in Discworld are gods that are worshipped whenever a snowman is built.

South Park — Jesus vs Frosty (1992)
The first South Park short ever featured a snowman that came to life and terrorized the crudely animated boys. And here's another ill-behaved lad and his sociopathic snowmen.