With the year 2012 coming soon, Roland Emmerich isn't the only filmmaker trying to cash in with an apocalypse movie tie-in. Documentary-makers are doing it too. Here is a sampling of the weirdest 2012 "non fiction" flicks.
Some of the hallmarks of a 2012 documentary - or any documentary about "ancient prophesies," really - are the use of British people (they are so believable!) and really bad CGI fire and/or stock footage of explosions. In Ancient Code: the Movie, hastily repackaged with the tagline "Are YOU ready for the real 2012?" we've got both British people and fire, as you can see in the clip below. However, there isn't really anything in this movie about the Mayan calendar. Mostly it's just a New Agey doc about how everybody should be seeking their inner grail and stop yelling at people on the street.
Despite a lack of British people, SyFy Channel's 2012: Startling New Secrets has the virtue of actually being about 2012, featuring interviews with scientists and "experts" in the Mayan calendar. There is a lot of stock footage of fire and volcanoes and floods, and the doc also introduces us to some random guys who think there's a giant hidden structure under ancient Egyptian ruins which will provide a key to surviving the 2012 apocalypse. I was never quite sure how the ancient Egyptians knew about the Mayan calendar, but that's OK because it was fun to see a scene of the "experts" looking puzzled when their examination of the site revealed that nothing was under the ground. But surely the best part of this doc is when we meet the "extreme survivalists" who are preparing to build underground bunkers to survive 2012. Here they are.
Possibly the most bizarre doc in this subgenre is 2012: An Awakening, which purports to be all about the Mayan calendar but is in fact just a collection of featurettes about random things like Bigfoot, Viking Satanists, angels, and Jules Verne. Luckily it has a lot of British people and bad CGI, so it still makes us feel all excited about 2012 even though we don't get to hear about that magical date at all. Instead we learn about some guy who "discovered" an image of a pentagram in some kind of Viking tunnel. Um, how are the Vikings related to 2012?
And then there's 2012: Mayan Prophesy and The Shift of the Ages. It's full of great stock footage of dust storms and traffic jams, plus random moments where metal songs play and a voice notes portentously that there have been a lot of earthquakes lately. Its main assertion? "December 23rd, 2012 is indeed the end of something." Well it's hard to deny the truth of that! If you don't believe me, listen to these British people talking about how 2012 is obviously important because of X-Files.
And let me leave you with this awesome moment of 2012 metal, from the introduction to the same film: