Ignore Friday's debate - or, if you're comic-minded, Saturday's debate - because a leader has finally appeared to unite America: General Zod. Announcing his candidacy by explaining that "[i]nstead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty," Zod's campaign website lays out his policies, updates his followers with news of his kneeling before campaign, and even has a kid's page where the youth of tomorrow can answer questions like "Mommy and Daddy did not give General Zod all of their worldly possessions, so they were sentenced to 5000 days in prison. How many years is this?" Tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime, and tough on everyone else while he's at it, isn't it time that America got the leader it deserved? [Zod 2008]