I don't know about you, but I got into scifi as a young teen because I was looking for sex. You know, hot human-on-alien action. And I've got some of that for you today. (NSFW)
Of course there are about a zillion human/alien pairings in scifi, going all the way back to John Carter's dalliance with that red hot princess from Mars. But some couples stand out (like Hulk and Caiera in the recent Planet Hulk series) and some are forgettable (like Karen Allen and the glowy Jeff Bridges alien in Starman, which is sadly not based on the comic book of the same name). While of course we prefer our human/alien pairings to involve lots of sex, some of the hottest human/alien couples are purely romantic. Their liaisons lead to marriage or children, which doesn't necessarily make them less scrumptious than couples whose trysts are basically excuses for a lot of tentacles and crazy lubrication scenes.
So without further ado, here are nine of the hottest human/alien couples we could think of, and one couple whose horribleness will remind you why some intergalactic smoochfests should never be blessed by starship captains.
Margaret and the invisible aliens who kill her lovers in Liquid Sky
Let's start in the most obvious place, shall we? Liquid Sky is a completely insane movie from the 1980s, about a bunch of punk/new wave models who are addicted to coke, totally genderfucked, wear neon-streaked clothes, and have a lot of gaybiwhatevs sex. Margaret is one such model, pictured fetchingly above, whose main goal in life is to destroy her rival male model (played by the same actress who plays Margeret) and to have a ton of meaningless sex with her freaky girlfriend and a bunch of other cute clubsters. You're whirled in and out of the new wave dreamscape until suddenly a floating pie pan enters the picture, and starts zapping Margaret's lovers to death at the moment they orgasm. At first, Margaret thinks her pussy has the power to kill, and she manages to pick off several of her lovers before targeting her frenemies. But at last she realizes that some aliens are behind the whole thing, and she decides that these aliens are the only creatures who truly care about her. I won't spoil the ending for you, but suffice to say that an insane-looking punk wedding dress is involved.
Thomas Newton and Mary-Lou from The Man Who Fell to Earth
In Nicholas Roeg's movie version of the (very different) Walter Tevis novel, David Bowie plays Thomas Newton, a sexy, geeky, genderfucky 1970s alien (yes, the 70s and 80s were a time of androgynous aliens, and hence an awesome time for love). Trying to save his home planet from a terrible drought, Thomas comes to Earth, a planet he's heard is entirely covered in water. Unfortunately his ship crashes, and he's stuck on our watery ball until he can raise enough money from various alien inventions to build another ship and return home. As he gets unbelievably rich from things like a tiny silver ball that plays music, Thomas slides into human decadence. A young woman named Mary-Lou introduces him to sex and booze, and pretty soon he's revealing his alien side to her with ass-biting and (later) showing her his true (lube-covered) alien form. There is even a lubey alien/human sex scene the likes of which you'll never see anywhere else. Plus, hot young Bowie in full alien mode! On the hotness scale, this couple is in the danger zone.
Dick and Mary from Third Rock from the Sun
Human/alien love went all domestic in the 1990s with sitcom Third Rock from the Sun, where a group of aliens are sent to Earth to study the natives while posing (poorly) as some kind of nuclear family. Dick (John Lithgow), the captain of the team, becomes the family father-figure, taking a job as a physics professor and wooing his office-mate Mary, played with goofy charm by Saturday Night Live alum Jane Curtin. In fact, "goofy charm" is what made this sitcom so terrific, and made the middle-aged romance between Dick and Mary so fun to watch.
Lilith and Nikanj in Lilith's Brood Trilogy
Octavia Butler has written some of the smartest and sexiest science fiction novels you'll ever read. Possibly the most unsettlingly romantic of her works is the Lilith's Brood Trilogy, about a human woman named Lilith who "marries" into a family of alien Oankali who have kidnapped what remains of the human race after we've annihilated ourselves with nukes. Though she genuinely comes to love her new alien family, Lilith's relationship with them is complicated because she realizes she has little choice but to breed with them - she is essentially their captive, and moreover their mating ritual involves intense chemical bonding that she can't resist. The Oankali have three genders, and the ooloi gender is a creature who can insert chemicals into its husband and wife via two specialized tentacles (yes! tentacles!). Lilith and a human man wind up in a relationship with an ooloi named Nikanj. Nikanj's tentacles release chemicals that cause intense pleasure and feelings of bonding. To create children, the ooloi mixes genetic material from itself, the male and female, and creates a child that combines all their traits.
Valerie and Mac from Earth Girls are Easy
A less complicated coupling occurs in 1980s comedy Earth Girls Are Easy, where the mega-cute Valerie (Geena Davis) falls for a furry blue alien named Mac who turns out to look like a smokin' hot Jeff Goldblum after he's depilated. Joining them in this silly romp, filled with song and dance scenes, are Jim Carey, Julie Brown and Damon Wayans. Valerie's doctor boyfriend has been cheating on her, but she's such a nice girl that she still takes her time getting busy with Mac out of respect for ex-doughboy. But when they finally do start making out, you'll be glad she dumped her doc for an alien.
Hulk and Caiera from Planet Hulk
It's hard for Hulk to find a woman who can handle his green side, but when he smash-landed on alien world Sakaar he met his match. 2006 series Planet Hulk, which led into crossover extravaganza World War Hulk, is one of the best Hulk plot arcs in recent memory. Hulk finds himself on a world so savage that his monstery side makes him a hero. He finds true friends among the giant insects and monsters of Sakaar, who are fighting to liberate themselves from the brutal Red King. Caiera is one of the Red King's slaves who fights in his army. Though at first she and Hulk fight - and what a fight it is! - eventually she switches to the side of Hulk and his liberators. They defeat the Red King together, get married, and become king and queen of Sakaar. Of course, Hulk can't stay happy, though . . . the spaceship he came in explodes, killing the whole planet, and he goes back to Earth ready to SMASH the Illuminati who made the ship. And thus World War Hulk began, out of Hulk's amazing romance with a kickass lady from another world.
Max and Liz from Roswell
Late-1990s TV series Roswell was the perfect combination of romantic teen angst and alien weirdness. Imagine Escape to Witch Mountain, but with high school kids instead of elementary school ones. Max and his three siblings are human-alien hybrids, clones of great leaders from their home world who survived the Roswell crash back in the 1950s. Now they're trying to figure out their powers, and get back home to save their people. But how can they do it when there's, like, homework? And cute girls and stuff? Not only did Katherine Heigl get her start in this show, but it clearly inspired Twilight with its Max-loves-Liz subplot. Liz is a human girl, and therefore (sorta) forbidden to Max, but he falls for her anyway - first he revives her from the dead after she's shot, then they go on the run together, and eventually he turns a rock into a diamond and proposes to her. Plus, they are cute as little buttons.
Just check out the fanvid schmoopiness that Roswell inspired!
Willis and Jeriba from Enemy Mine
A human named Willis (Dennis Quaid) crash lands on a harsh, remote world along with an alien named Jeriba (Louis Gosset, Jr.). Unfortunately their peoples are at war with each other, and they don't speak each other's languages. But they are stuck on the forbidding rock for years, exposed to terrifying creatures and even more terrifying weather, so they strike up a friendship that grows into something much deeper. They are clearly in love, though in a chaste way - Jeriba's people have no gender, and create babies via some kind of budding process. Eventually Jeriba has a baby, but dies in the process, leaving Willis to raise "their" baby on his own. Though cheesy in some ways, this movie is still intensely moving, as well as a pretty gutsy exploration of what human/alien love might really be like.
Doctor Who and [Insert Your Favorite Companions Here] from Doctor Who
The beauty thing about Doctor Who is that the Doctor has so many different companions that you can pretty much project any kind of sexual orientation onto him that you want. I prefer to think of the Doctor as bisexual and polyamorous, which is why this picture of him with companions Martha and Captain Jack makes my pervvy little heart go pitter-pat. But if you prefer things all monogamous and hetero, you can focus on the Doctor and Rose. Or you can remove humans from the equation and think about the Doctor with the Master when he was played by John Simm (OMG). Though the Doctor never technically gets romantically involved with any of his companions, he does get emotionally entangled with almost all of them. For a Timelord who never really has any sex (that we see), the Doctor has got to be the sexiest alien in any space-time continuum.
Special Turn-Off Section: Ickiest Human/Alien Couple
Ickiest Couple: Troi and Riker from Star Trek: TNG
Feeling like you need a cold shower after all that action? Well allow me to give you the closest thing there is to a freezing shower to the libido: The coupling of Betazoid Deanna Troi and human William Riker in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Seriously, is there anything more horrendous and woody-weakening than this couple? What happened to Troi and Worf, a couple worth fighting for? Or Riker and the Trill? Seriously, I had to scrub my eyes with sandpaper after Troi and Riker had their naked wedding in that Star Trek movie whose memory I am trying to wipe out. What the hell, people? Some weddings should never happen.