They've been feared and hated since they first appeared 45 years ago, but for certain members of the Uncanny X-Men, there's another reaction that's much more suitable: Outright derision. Sure, not every character that the creators of Marvel's comic, movie, cartoon and cake franchise can have the staying power and fanbase of Wolverine or Kitty Pryde, but some of the mutants that have belonged to the team in its various incarnations have just been plain embarrassing. It's time that we celebrate some of the most useless X-Men of all time.
5. Gateway: Less a character than a plot device with two legs - although he was sitting down so often you could rarely tell - Gateway took the "silent man of mystery" role to all new levels during his time with the team, barely speaking but always somehow magically knowing whether to send the rest of the X-Men with his magical teleportation powers without having to be asked back when they lived in the Australian outback and pretended to be dead. Years after they moved back to the US, Gateway was revealed to be the omnipotent keeper of all human knowledge, and then he was killed. Because, apparently, all human knowledge didn't include "how to avoid being killed."
4. Thunderbird: A character so pointless that he himself pointed out how pointless he was in his third appearance, right before being blown up in an exploding aircraft. It was probably meant to be poignant proof that being a hero can sometimes mean that you get blown up, but in reality, all his death did was make fans realize that it's a bad idea to hang onto the outside of an aircraft when it's about to explode. Seriously, outside of his brother Warpath (Their parents liked to give interesting names to their children, apparently), no-one can even remember what Thunderbird's powers were without checking Wikipedia.
3. X-23: There are many plus points to Wolverine's cloned hooker daughter, but sadly none of them are for originality. Or, for that matter, for anything beyond the amusement factor of her being Wolverine's cloned hooker daughter. It's not enough that Marvel came up with the idea of Wolverine having a teenage female clone of himself hanging around, they also had to make her a prostitute catering to masochists in order to cater to the fanboys for whom fantasizing about fucking a teenage female clone of Wolverine just wasn't kinky enough.
2. Slipstream: With the 2001 first appearance of this character - along with his sister, who went under the superhero name "Lifeguard" - Norrin Radd was stripped of the title of "Only superhero whose gimmick is a surfboard". Yes, Slipstream followed in the footsteps and, well, slipstream, of the Silver Surfer with his "warp wave" teleportation powers that were triggered by the use of his special surfboard. Despite his father being the godfather of Australian organized crime (Yes, I don't know why Australia and lame teleporters seems to be a theme here, either) and his being half-alien, Slipstream nonetheless failed to set the world on fire and was depowered within five years of his first appearance.
1. Angel: Yes, I know he was one of the first X-Men and that he's been around for years, but still, you have to face it - Angel sucks. Handsome, rich, and gifted with giant wings that he used to strap to his body so that he could wear a suit in public, Warren Worthington III has long been one of the least interesting characters in the world of the X-Men. He was so dull, in fact, that even turning him blue and replacing his wings with razor-sharp metal ones failed to make him interesting because, let's face it, "I can fly!" really doesn't measure up to "I can shoot laser beams out my eyes" or "I can turn to organic steel and punch shit". The fact that he's still around today is either proof that the nostalgia of comic creators is incredibly strong or that Stan Lee has some wonderful royalty deal making sure that all of his creations stick around while he's still alive. If the X-Men truly are the next step of evolution, you'd think that Mother Nature could have come up with something better than sticking bird wings on a guy's back, after all.