Got kidney cancer? Any non-functioning organs you want to get rid of? If you have a vagina, you're in luck because doctors have discovered a new use for it beyond pleasure and procreation. It's called Natural Orifice Transluminal Endoscopy Surgery (NOTES) and it means that doctors can magically pull your own kidney, appendix, or other annoying internal body part out through your vagina, or if you prefer, your mouth. Find out more about this bizarre new organ-removal method below.
It's true...going in through the mouth, surgeons have coaxed people to cough up appendices, bile glands, and gall bladders and women have given birth to the same organs as well. Last year, the first "transvaginal nephrectomy" was performed. And doctors in Barcelona announced yesterday that they've done it again.
NOTES surgery is where it's at. By going in through a natural opening in the body, doctors only need to make a small incision in the vaginal wall, or stomach lining. Then they wheedle their way through the abdomen to the offending organ or tissue, snip snip, and they're out in no time. OK, in the first kidney operation, it took about 3 hours. No Biggie.
The best part? You the brave patient are out of the hospital in a day or two, with no visible scarring (though sometimes small external cuts are needed). Docs are understandably excited about this, and hell, why not swallow some laparoscopic surgical tools if it'll cure what ails you? Ladies: if you think you've got it bad because doctors like to exploit your female hardware, rest assured — plans are in the works to use the rectum and male urethra as future entry points.