2013 Halloween Costumes We Are Dreading -- And What to Wear Instead

Illustration for article titled 2013 Halloween Costumes We Are Dreading -- And What to Wear Instead

Every year on All Hallows' Eve there is a collection of trendy costumes that flood the streets. Don't be a victim of costume saturation. Read our handy guide to the costumes we're already dreading, and what you should wear instead.

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Illustration for article titled 2013 Halloween Costumes We Are Dreading -- And What to Wear Instead

Costume Trend: Miley Twerk Bear

We can already see the army of twerking Mileys descending the NYC Halloween Parade. Thousands and thousands of them, all with wagging tongues and tiny little bear ears. You do you Miley, but don't be one of the hundreds to do this costume. Plus David Correos (above and to the right) is already killed it with his tutorial video.

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What to Wear Instead: Any of the Janelle Monáe album covers. She is an Android sex kitten songstress that has won over our dark soul.

Illustration for article titled 2013 Halloween Costumes We Are Dreading -- And What to Wear Instead

Costume Trend: Sexy Food

Now that it is virtually impossible to escape food shots on any sort of social media the fetishizing of food is inevitably crawling towards sexy food dress. Which is evident with the many, many different kinds of "sexy fries" and "sexy pineapple" outfits available on Yandy.com. Resist the urge to dress up as sexy pizza and bang your partner sexy cheeseburger. Actually, strike that. Go for it, tape it, and send it to us... for science.

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What to Wear Instead: Dress up as a starving Cross Fit For Life person and chase all the food around like a lunatic.

Illustration for article titled 2013 Halloween Costumes We Are Dreading -- And What to Wear Instead
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Costume Trend: Bacon

BACON IS OVER. NO MORE BACON. STOP WITH THE BACON. Unless it is a literal outfit made of bacon and then OK, you got us.

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What to Wear Instead: Go as the Cronut. You timely motherfucker you.

Illustration for article titled 2013 Halloween Costumes We Are Dreading -- And What to Wear Instead
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Costume Trend: Breaking Bad Boys

We're sad it's gone too. But it's time to let it die, we've all had our fill of blue rock candy topped cupcakes and meth jokes... it's time.

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What to Wear Instead: The Better Call Saul Ad.

Illustration for article titled 2013 Halloween Costumes We Are Dreading -- And What to Wear Instead
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Costume Trend: Sexy Monster's University Monsters

This is wrong and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Not sure if this is hugely popular but it is on the homepage of almost every costume site.

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What to Wear Instead: Not sexy Pixar characters. Really just anything else.

Illustration for article titled 2013 Halloween Costumes We Are Dreading -- And What to Wear Instead
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Costume Trend: Game of Thrones Dragon Knock Offs

These are sexy, furry dragons. First off, NO. Dragons are NOT furry. NO. Second, no. However we will give them props for the horns.

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What To Wear Instead: Actual Game Of Thrones characters. Make your own — it's really not that hard, and probably cheaper. Here's a guide to all the braids from the fabulous ladies of the land, get your friends together and recreate the whole Red Wedding all over town, Adams Family spraying-blood-everywhere style. But if your heart is set on being a dragon, why not try the Smauglock look?

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Illustration for article titled 2013 Halloween Costumes We Are Dreading -- And What to Wear Instead

Costume Trend: How Does the Fox Go? (Technically "What Does the Fox Say" but this is better)

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This is the only super trend we're not annoyed with now. Plus furries are awesome and it looks really comfortable.

What To Wear Instead: Nothing we love this, sorry we're lame.

Illustration for article titled 2013 Halloween Costumes We Are Dreading -- And What to Wear Instead
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Costume Trend: Sexy Sea Creatures

We... just... lol. It's a sexy squid you guys. A sexy squid.

What To Wear Instead: With a few minor alterations you can turn the Sexy Shamu into the whale from Blackfish. Too soon?

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Costumes via Spirit Halloween and Yandy. Top image via Appendage.

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DISCUSSION

katharinetrendacosta
Katharine Trendacosta

Yandy.com is the be all and end all of sexy costumes. The sheer number and variety is almost inspiring in its. . . let's go with "creativity." It also led my friends to my favorite new game: Name something not available in sexy form on Yandy. Last year, my friend won with "Mitt Romney."