Tomorrow, Star Trek: Picard finally begins, as we see a returned Jean-Luc go on a brand new mission...one that requires him to scrounge up a new crew to command. But if instead of having to operate outside of Starfleet rules, and with some Trek-patented temporal anomaly goodness, if you could pick any heroes of the franchise to put on a ship, who would make your team?
Yes, we’re in a fantasy Star Trek mood, and want you to come up with your very own starship crew. Doesn’t matter where they’re from in the Trek timeline, they can just be your favorites, or who you think would work best together. Or, frankly, who’d work worst together for hilarious effect. Basically, go nuts! Would you be the best and brightest the Federation has to offer, or would you travel the galaxy taking the piss out of anyone who asked for help with a crew of sardonic, but loveable assholes?
Of course need a Captain to command your vessel, but once you’ve sorted that out, take a gander across nearly six decades of Trek history and pick your:
- First Officer
- Tactical Officer
- Science Officer
- Communications/Ops Officer
- Conn Officer
- Chief of Engineering
Personally, I think the crew of the U.S.S. Get Me My Dang Coffee would look something like this:
- Captain Kathryn Janeway
- First Officer Kira Nerys
- Tactical Officer Worf
- Science Officer Paul Stamets
- Doctor Leonard “Bones” McCoy
- Ops Officer Nyota Uhura
- Con Officer Jadzia Dax
- Chief of Engineering B’Elanna Torres
Basically everyone on the Get Me My Dang Coffee would always either be Very Tired or very likely to glare you to death should you cross them, but also deeply love snarking their friends and foes alike. Kira and Janeway’s command meetings would be straight fire, and Stamets and McCoy would ceaselessly bicker about who was, in fact, the better bickerer. Dax would be flying around the galaxy as recklessly as possible based on her prior lives’ experience racing the fanciest sublight space yachts, while B’Elanna would be desperately attempting to keep the warp core together with scotch tape and rage.
Also, Number One would be there, because he’s a very good boy.
Let us know in the comments just how good and/or bad a job your team would do of boldly going!
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