15 More Alternate Names For The SciFi Channel

Illustration for article titled 15 More Alternate Names For The SciFi Channel

You people never let me down. I suggested 28* different names for the SciFi Channel to use instead of "SyFy," and you managed to come up with even better ones. Here're some of my favorites.


13enster: "The Further Proof of the Decline of Western Civilization Channel"

Final: "Every Cable Channel needs a Wrestling Show but we were too cheap to go after Kaiju Big Battel"

LarsThorwald: "We Are Not Above Marketing an Original Movie About a Giant Snake and Starring Chase Masterson as a Major Television Event in Every Single Commercial Break"

oboesqueaks: "Being A Broadcast Network That Specializes In Pictorial Representations Of A Technical and Supernatural Nature - The Only Place Where You Can Find Purple Nazi Monsters"

SuperTuna: "The Ooo - that looks/sounds interesting. Oops looks like it was another Animal turned into man's worst fears made for (turned off) TV movie channel"

Lassus: "The Everyone Hates The Genre That Cannot be Named Network"

AlyssaAnaxo: "The We Can't Tell The Difference Between Science Fiction and Horror Channel"


TarynO: "The If they shot it in Vancouver then it's on our channel channel"

BeccaSaurus: "The We've Lost Our Way, But What's It To You? Wanna Make Something Of It? Channel"


ElsaBabby: "The Acne Network Shut Your Fucking Yaws Shit, You Farscapers YELL! The We Really Wanted to Work For Lifetime Channel The What is Science? And What is Fiction? Station The Damn I Thought I was Working for the Other Michael Jackson When I Was Promoted Channel SyFlyByNight I Cant Spel But I Kin Txt Chanel The English Channel Why Won't This Network Die Already Place on The Cable Box KSFY: All The Crap NBC Doesn't Want Cap'n Syphilis Network I Thought "Demographics" Meant Demonstrating Onion Slicers and Oxy-Clean Our Viewers Really Don't Live With Their Parents? But the Dream Was So Real! Why You don't Hold Your Meeting on Branding at 4:20 KPox What Will We Do When Our Usual Actors Bail on Us They Shoot Networks, Don't They? Kick Me, I'm a Cable Channel It's SyFy, Not Sissy!" (But mostly because I like to pretend that that's all one name.)

QuantAnteater: "The Proof That All the Good Names Have Been Taken Channel"

Bloodboiler: "Scary Door" (I have to admit, I love the idea of a network called "Scary Door." I would totally tune in just to see what the hell was on.)


KoopaLee: "The 'Things We'll Never See In Our Lifetime, So Don't Get Too Excited' Channel"

IngramAmyntor: "The We Don't Care About Our Viewers And Never Did Which Is Why We're Doing Our Damndest To Alienate Them Channel"


ShinjiniPyrrha: "You won't find 'Sex and The City' rerun here Network."

Remember, SciFi/SyFy execs... We're available for all manner of consulting work. And we're very, very cheap.


(* - Yeah, I have no idea how I managed to repeat #15-17. That's what I get for rearranging them after I'd written the post first time out.)


It's just a name. Before you know it we will all be used to it and nobody will care anymore. Networks are becoming less and less relevant in this era of online streaming shows etc. anyway. And it's not like the other networks have much better names — NBC, the CW, AMC anyone?