Comment of the Day: Darth Vader, An Alternate History

Illustration for article titled Comment of the Day: Darth Vader, An Alternate History

In today's comments we shared recipes for chocolate-covered salmon (there are more than you'd think), learned how to reconstruct an 18-foot oarfish using a bit of tech and a lot of imagination, and imagined the 30-second chat that could have stopped Darth Vader before he started.


In response to this post on what stories could have been wrapped up in 5 minutes with the help of a single candid chat, commenter cforshaw672200 came up with the quick heart-to-heart that Yoda and Anakin never (but really should have!) had:

Yoda: Anakin, troubled we are by your behaviour, and attitude, and obsession with sand.

Anakin: It's cos' I'm in love with Padme, but your rules on love are awful.

Yoda: Awful they are not. Consider this, you must: love makes fools of us all, and foolishness can be exploited by the dark side.

Anakin: But by being irrational, you cannot demand a rational attitude to love. Plus, actually loving someone makes life worth living... and worth saving.

Yoda: Truly, we had not considered this.

Palpatine: (whispers) Ignore him, Anakin. If you strike him down, you will have the woman you love!

Anakin: By the way, Yoda, that thing you said about the dark side exploiting love? Palpatine has totally been doing that to me for the last two films.

Yoda: Mmm. Busted you are, Palpatine.

Palpatine: You'll never take me ali -

All the Jedi descend on him, as he is literally the only Sith, and there are thousands of them.


A much shorter, but probably happier, Star Wars movie.

Image: Sam Howzit

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There is a Star Wars: Infinites - a slightly altered reimagining of the original trilogy. In the Return of the Jedi at the end, Vader lives - saved and turned back into a Jedi by the combined assault of his son and daughter - but the Emperor escapes. Being all light-sided by The Force and all - Jedi dons white armor.