While the Watchmen stars drag their bored-to-death faces through a surreal appearance on Rachael Ray (Billy Crudup is "Captain Boredom!") screenwriter David Hayter pleads with you to see the movie one more time.
Nothing like being on the ass end of a press tour: the actors are sick of talking abou the material, and yet here they are talking about it again. I have to say seeing the gaggle of Watchmen fellas sitting around a table with old Ray Ray struggling for conversation is uncomfortable, and clearly one of the signs of the apocalypse. Thank god Billy's brother painted himself blue, because ha ha funny, sigh...
Meanwhile, screenwriter David Hayter busted out a long letter to Hard Core Nerdity begging true fans to go and see the movie a second time this coming weekend, so it'll make a profit. And gee wiz everyone worked really, really hard, and they don't want to be considered a failure in the box office. So even though it's a recession and a lot of us are still struggling between deciding whether to pay the phone bill or the cable bill, won't you please hand over another $10? Says Hayter:
So look, this is a note to the fanboys and fangirls. The true believers. Dedicated for life.
If the film made you think. Or argue with your friends. If it inspired a debate about the nature of man, or vigilante justice, or the horror of Nixon abolishing term limits. If you laughed at Bowie hanging with Adrian at Studio 54, or the Silhouette kissing that nurse.
Please go see the movie again next weekend.
You have to understand, everyone is watching to see how the film will do in its second week. If you care about movies that have a brain, or balls, (and this film's got both, literally), or true adaptations — And if you're thinking of seeing it again anyway, please go back this weekend, Friday or Saturday night. Demonstrate the power of the fans, because it'll help let the people who pay for these movies know what we'd like to see. Because if it drops off the radar after the first weekend, they will never allow a film like this to be made again.
Well, that's not necessarily true, judging from the line-up for the next few years. There are plenty of comic-book movies on the slate, although some of them may not be quite as edgy, or as faithful to the source material, as Watchmen.
In Hayter's defense, he does say that he doesn't profit a cent from an increase in box office. Hayter's letter sounds more like a drowning plea to save a movie everyone had such high hopes for, and which some people loved. When half the world hated your film, you either have to shrug and cite artistic differences, or write a letter begging the other half to see it a second time.
And yes, people will continue to go see Watchmen, but it is what it is. It's not going to win over a mainstream audience the way the film-makers envisioned, this is heavy subject material where you almost have to have read the book to enjoy and internally deal with what's really going on. And please don't ever use this line again:
Trust me. You'll come back, eventually. Just like Sally.
Is this the first time the maker of a film has ever suggested that his movie raped the audience?