Whimpering, Improv, And Sublimated Sexuality In Twilight Deleted Scenes

Wait, you mean they actually cut some of the whiny, I'm-sore-from-dry-humping-you-all-day noises from the movie Twilight? Some new deleted scenes make the rest of the movie look watchable by comparison.

As Bella rolls about with the hunky Edward on the woodland floor, she nervously asks, "Do you wanna taste?" But it's okay - because she means her blood, not sex. So when she sticks her finger in his mouth, and they make little PG-rated whimpers, I guess that's blood-drinking third base. It's official: Twilight is like late night Cinemax, no action but all the noise.

Oh and don't you even get me started on the acting. To quote our Twilight-loving intern Julia, "This scene in the woods reminds me of like an acting class where they tell you, 'Forget about the script, just interact as the characters,' It seems like they're making it up as they go." Yeah, it does feel like that improv troupe that would perform every Thursday night at my college cafe and interrupt everyone who was just trying to drink coffee and study... only a bit worse.


Here is the next clip, I call it, "Girls are dumb and can't protect themselves":

Okay okay, so Twilight is bad. But I will throw it one bone: that walking forehead is mighty pretty, so I will continue to watch where that mug goes.

Share This Story