Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

The Ultimate BSG Frakkin Spoiler Orgy!

Illustration for article titled The Ultimate BSG Frakkin Spoiler Orgy!
Morning SpoilersIf there’s news about upcoming movies and television you’re not supposed to know, you’ll find it in here.

Spool up your FTL for the last, and greatest, Battlestar spoilerfest. Plus a Terminator 4 poster, G.I. Joe footage reports, and Whedon's Dollhouse forecast. Also: Lost, Fringe and Doctor Who. We have a spoiler plan...


Battlestar Galactica:

OMG it's our last chance for BSG spoilers. (Apart from the "Plan" TV movie, which barely counts.) Here's a round-up of spoilery stuff from the media. Be warned, though. This is likely to be a one-way trip to major spoiler-hood. Those who do not wish to be spoiled should scroll past the BSG section now.


Ron Moore tells the Wall Street Journal, "I was never tempted to make the ending very nihilistic and kill everyone, but Eddie [James Olmos] wanted to."

The L.A. Times says we learn whether BSG is our past or our future - and the answer is "all this has happened before, etc." We see what a cute couple Lee and Kara are, and Saul and Ellen are alternately resolute and frisky. Admiral Adama stages an awesome do-or-die rescue mission, and even smiles a couple times, mostly in flashbacks. Laura Roslin's opera-house vision is explained, and old treachery "paid back in full." Everybody gets to be a hero at some point, including Cavil and Boomer. There's even an explanation for Six's red dress. Oh, and there's lots of pole-dancing.

The Boston Herald calls tonight's finale "wildly uneven." The first hour is jam-packed with some of the most exciting action sequences consigned to film. "It's the dying ship [Galactica]'s finest hour." There are deaths, redemptions, reunions and one surprising suicide. And lots more flashbacks that flesh out the characters.

"One longstanding dream is finally explained." (I think the opera house thing?) And a romantic moment between Caprica Six and Baltar is interrupted by "the last two people they ever expected to see." The notes from the original BSG theme (from the 1970s) play at one of the episode's most heartbreaking moments.


But unfortunately, the Baltar-Jesus cult, with his army of female followers, "turns feverish" tonight, and it's really obnoxious. Adds the Herald's reviewer: "It's as if some assistant photocopying the script mixed in a batch of pages from an old "Touched By An Angel" episode. I won't spoil the denouement, but these last shepherds of humanity make irrational decisions that fly in the face of everything they've struggled for. I must go on record with my unhappiness regarding the resolution of the mystery surrounding Kara Thrace (Katee Sackhoff). She deserved better and so did we. Hera's grand destiny, on the other hand, seems to be much ado about hooey."

And then, just when you think the episode ought to end, it jumps forward 150,000 years (No, that's not a typo) for a "perfectly silly coda," which includes a Ron Moore cameo and is only missing an end card that says "THE END?" (So I'm guessing the rumor that the show ends with Six in New York's Times Square is true?)


Says the New York Daily News, "The finale has the crew members hurtling into an asteroid field on the outskirts of a black hole, where the army of their Cylon enemies is waiting to wipe them out in a battle that blows through a season's worth of special-effects money."

Real-life astronaut Garrett Weisman tells MSNBC he has a small role as a colonial marine in tonight's episode, which may or may not have gotten cut out. Someone throws up on him, and then he dies.


Okay, this is the end of the BSG spoilers. Safe for the rest of you to start reading again.

Terminator Salvation:

A new poster will help you get a head in the post-apocalyptic world. Bigger version at the link. [IGN via Slashfilm]

Illustration for article titled The Ultimate BSG Frakkin Spoiler Orgy!

G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra:

IGN saw five minutes of footage, which sounds like the same footage that was screened for people before. There's a military base in the desert, being approached by two strange lumps in the sand that disturb the camels. Randy Quaid is assembling a crack exo-suit-wearing military squad to deal with terrorists. And as if on cue, Christopher Eccleston and his gang emerge as a threat, thanks to "nanomites" that can eat through anything. Destro (Eccleston) launches the nanomites at the Eiffel Tower. We see the nanomachines eating through the structure until it collapses. (Do you think the film explains why the nanomachines don't just keep going, turning the whole world into grey goo?)


Then there's an attack sequence, where Star Wars-esque submersible vehicles attack Cobra's undersea base.

Then we see Randy Quaid explaining the team's exo-suits to Marlon Wayans and Channing Tatum: the suits make the guys unstoppable in the field. We see "cyber slapstick" as the duo are jumping around on the street and they crash through the roof of a parked car. (Similar to the garage scene in Iron Man.)


In a later scene, the Baroness (Siena Miller) is on a glass rooftop and Duke (Tatum) lands in front of her. She sets off a massive explosion, and they're sent flying. Oh and the movie's "tone is decidedly ridiculous." (Which may be a good thing, in the circumstances.) [IGN]

Green Hornet:

This superhero film will mention that the Hornet is the grand-nephew of the Lone Ranger, says star Seth Rogen. And Adam Sandler is rumored to play a superhero in the film, possibly a desedant of the Ranger. [Sci Fi Wire]



Joss Whedon says the episode after tonight's is full of humor and Whedonesque zaniness. Also, the show's inherent "ick factor" is strongest for the female Active named Sierra, who "really gets put through it." Tonight's episode gets under Paul Ballard's skin, but also shows the "cogs" and inner workings of the Dollhouse in a way that will make sense to new viewers, adds Whedon. Also, this season, we don't learn exactly why Boyd is working at the Dollhouse in the first place. Also, Patton Oswalt has a cameo in tonight's episode, where Oswalt gets to address the issue of people having sex with mind-wiped Dolls. And Felicia Day is in an upcoming episode. [Sci Fi Tracker]


Oh, and a bit of rumor control: I've seen a ton of blogs claiming that Alpha (Alan Tudkyk) appears in tonight's episode. Following the chain of links and trackbacks, it all seems to go back to our own post, where we had the image of Alpha in his lair. But I'm pretty sure we didn't claim that Alpha would be turning up this week, so someone seems to have gotten their wires crossed in a game of telephone. Er... I mean Internet.


Doctor Who:

David Tennant has another behind-the-scenes video for you. [Planet Gallifrey]


Here are descriptions of four upcoming episodes:

5x12 "Dead Is Dead." To atone for sins of the past, Ben must attempt to summon the smoke monster in order to be judged. (Featuring Penny!)
5x13, "Some Like It Hoth." Suspicions about a possible breach intensify after Ben is taken from the infirmary, and a reluctant Miles is forced to work with Hurley when he's asked to deliver an important package to a top Dharma official.
5x14, "The Variable." On the 100th episode milestone for the series, the time of reckoning has begun when Daniel Faraday comes clean regarding what he knows about the island. (Featuring Penny! And Charles Widmore!)
5x15, "Follow The Leader." Jack and Kate find themselves at odds over the direction to take to save their fellow island survivors, Locke further solidifies his stance as leader of "The Others," and Sawyer and Juliet come under scrutiny from the Dharma Initiative. (Featuring the young Charles Widmore!)



I honestly can't make sense of Kristin's latest spoiler, so here it is verbatim:

The love polygon lives. Sawyer and Juliet appear to be settled down, domestic and altogether fuzzy-wuzzy, but they have some struggles ahead. And don't forget, as Sawyer announced in season one, "It's about bunnies," and the newly released Geronimo Jackson album cover agrees with him. And you know what bunnies like to do, right?


Does this mean they'll make babies? Or just shag? [E! Online]

In case you hadn't already noticed, the show is done with skipping through time, and we're going back to the format of character-centric episodes with flashbacks. First, a Sayid-centric episode, showing the role reversal in the fact that he was one who first captured Ben, and now he's behind bars with Ben giving him a sandwich. Then Daniel Faraday, and Miles. And at some point, we'll learn how Sayid was captured and put on that plane, how Hurley learned about the Ajira flight, and how Sun, Ben and Lapidus will reunite with the crew in the 1970s. [USA Today via Doc Arzt]



Here's a new promo:

Share This Story

Get our newsletter



""But unfortunately, the Baltar-Jesus cult, with his army of female followers, "turns feverish" tonight, and it's really obnoxious. Adds the Herald's reviewer: "It's as if some assistant photocopying the script mixed in a batch of pages from an old "Touched By An Angel" episode. I won't spoil the denouement, but these last shepherds of humanity make irrational decisions...""

So members of a religious cult make irrational decisions? Huh...go figure....