Sterling Archer is not known for his commitment to self-care. The fictional spy is regularly beaten and shot, and subsists almost exclusively on a diet of booze. That is, with one glaring exception: Eggs Woodhouse.

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YouTube chef Andrew Rea brings food from movies and TV to life like the prison red sauce from Goodfellas or Louie’s fried chicken. Eggs Woodhouse is orders of magnitude more decadent than any of his previous recipes, or any food a human being would willingly eat for that matter.

A twist on eggs Benedict—the popular brunch food usually scarfed down by 20-somethings wasted on overpriced mimosas—eggs Woodhouse has the following, needlessly additions, most of which are prohibitively expensive: Kashmiri saffron, Iberico ham, creamed spinach, shaved black truffles, and caviar.

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Not only would such a dish likely give a lesser, non-animated man congestive heart failure, but it doesn’t even look all that good. Know how mixing every color of paint together just makes brownish dreck? Eggs Woodhouse is that, but afterwards you eat it. It’s less a meal and more a shortcut to the gastrointestinal danger zone.