Over on /r/Christianity, Cabbagetroll has written some comically concise summaries of stories from the Bible's Old and New Testaments.

Here's the Book of Genesis:

God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.

Adam & Eve: Okay.

Satan: You should do the thing.

Adam & Eve: Okay.

God: What happened!?

Adam & Eve: We did the thing.

God: *Guys*

And the rest of the Old Testament:

God: You are my people, and you should not do the things.

People: We won't do the things.

God: Good.

People: We did the things.

God: *Guys*

More at /r/Christianity

H/t Russ!