This week, American Horror Story makes a bid to out-crazy its first two seasons. Really. The Walking Dead features its biggest zombie set piece yet. But there are also a ton of other premieres this week, including super-mutants, Wonderland, and superhero craziness. Check out clips and details for all this week's TV!
Top image: American Horror Story: Coven
Check out a brand new clip, in which Finn meets... the Box Prince? Here's what's up: "Finn meets the Box Prince (a cat with a box on its back) and discovers the BoxKingdom has been taken over by an imposter. Now, Finn must help the real Box Prince reclaim his rightful throne." That's followed by Regular Show, Uncle Grandpa and Mad.
Mighty Med (8:30 PM, Disney XD):
Not sure how we missed this! It's the one-hour premiere of a new show about kids who work in a hospital that treats the superheroes that everybody thinks are fictional. I get that the superheroes need their own hospital. But why are these kids working as doctors there? That's the part that I have a hard time understanding.
Beauty and the Beast (9 PM, The CW):
Yay, this show is back! And apparently for season two, they're downplaying the "police procedural" aspects and playing up the mythology. Here's what's on tap:
VINCENT AND CATHERINE REUNITE, BUT VINCENT HAS CHANGED — Three months after Vincent Keller (Jay Ryan) was abducted by Muirfield, Detective Catherine Chandler (Kristin Kreuk), is reunited with him - but not in the way she planned. He’s changed: his scar has disappeared, his memory has been wiped clean and he returns as a supercharged beast on a mysterious mission. Catherine needs to unravel the reasons behind Vincent’s change if she has any hopes of recovering their epic love, while also trying to solve the secrets that swirl around her own life.
Sleepy Hollow (9 PM, Fox):
Check out a sneak peek! Sounds like a mythos-heavy episode, in which we learn a lot more about the Big Bad:
Lt. Abbie Mills and Ichabod Crane search for Abbie's estranged sister, Jenny (guest star Lyndie Greenwood), who has escaped from a Sleepy Hollow psychiatric hospital. In a game-changing episode, which includes flashbacks to the real Boston Tea Party, Abbie and Ichabod discover more about the evil they are facing... and finally learn its name.
Also on TV tonight: There's the second season premiere of Crash & Bernstein on Disney XD at 7:30 PM. There's a new Castle on ABC at 10 PM. At 11 PM, Bravo's Watch What Happens features Zachary Quinto and Connie Britton.
Here's a new clip, in which Skye is snarky and Agent Ward is a jerkwad. Wow, character development! This time around, we're meeting Dr. Franklin Hall, who becomes Graviton in the comics. Could be interesting...
When the brilliant scientist Dr. Franklin Hall is kidnapped, Agent Coulson and his S.H.I.E.L.D. agents must race against the clock to locate him. Skye is their only way in — pushing the team to their limits when the entire plan turns upside-down.
Now in its regular timeslot. There's one main reason to watch this show: for the old-timey flashbacks featuring lots of amazing wig action. And this episode sounds like it won't disappoint!
A FLASHBACK TO THE 1800s — When Rebekah (Claire Holt) arrives in New Orleans at her brother Elijah’s (Daniel Gillies) insistence, she meets Hayley (Phoebe Tonkin), who gives her some unexpected news. Concerned that her brother Klaus is up to no good, Rebekah seeks help from a reluctant Sophie (Daniella Pineda.) At her wits’ end, Hayley takes matters into her own hands, but things quickly take a dangerous turn. Determined to uncover Marcel’s (Charles Michael Davis) secret weapon, Klaus stays one step ahead and executes his plan. Meanwhile, after a run-in with Marcel, Rebekah is reminded of all the anger and disappointment Klaus has caused her throughout the years. Finally, Marcel enlists Davina’s (Danielle Campbell) help in his own dangerous plan.
I'm still kind of mad at Dean for talking Sam out of closing the Gates of Hell. Sam could die pretty soon anyway — and how are you going to have a better death than getting rid of every demon on Earth? In any case, here's what's up as season nine begins:
FALLEN ANGELS — Dean (Jensen Ackles) is frantic after Sam (Jared Padalecki) collapses and the doctor tells Dean his brother won’t make it. Desperate, Dean sends out an all points bulletin via prayer to every angel in the area, asking them to help his brother. In exchange, Dean will owe that angel a favor. Numerous angry angels race to find and kill Dean, but one, Ezekiel (guest star Tahmoh Penikett), gets to him first. Meanwhile, Sam fights for his life and must face some familiar demons to do so. Castiel (Misha Collins) struggles to survive without powers.
Person of Interest (10 PM, CBS):
There was a distinct lack of Root in last week's episode... but it sounds like that will be more than made up for this week. Plus Zoe Morgan!
"Lady Killer" - Reese and Finch enlist the help of Carter, Shaw and Zoe Morgan, who use their feminine wiles to bait a chameleon playboy who is either a predator or someone else's imminent prey. Meanwhile, The Machine helps Root to plot an escape from her psych ward confinement before a dangerous enemy can track her down.
Also on TV tonight: There's a new Total Drama: All Stars on Cartoon Network at 7 PM, followed by Amazing World of Gumball. The Disney Channel has a brand new Wolfblood at 8 PM. Syfy has a new Face-Off at 9, followed by a new Fangasm. At 11 PM, Spike has the premiere of a new show, Criss Angel: BeLIEve, where Criss Angel does magic 'n' shit.
Johnny and Dukey get turned into "petting zoo animals" by the evil Mr. Mittens, like you do. And then they have to stop Mr. Mittens from pulverizing the moon and using the entire world as his litter box. Like you do. And then Raven shows the rest of the Titans that books can be fun. (Didn't we already have that story?) And then there's an Annoying Orange.
Revolution (8 PM, NBC):
Place your bets — how long before the magic nanomachines fix Miles' busted hand?
BRUSHES WITH DEATH PAINT THE BIG PICTURE IN WILLOUGHBY, WHILE DARING RESCUE ATTEMPTS ARE MADE - Rachel (Elizabeth Mitchell) makes a valiant attempt to rescue Miles (Billy Burke) and to escape with an ailing Tribesman's wife, while Neville (Giancarlo Esposito) and Jason (JD Pardo) are caught off-guard, assaulted by violent refugees. Charlie (Tracy Spiridakos) and Adam (Patrick Heusinger) are at odds over what to do with Monroe (David Lyons). Legions of Tribesmen threaten all of Willoughby but with questionable leadership and Aaron (Zak Orth) faces death, yet again.
So excited for the return of this show. I'm kind of glad to hear that Lian Yu has become Ollie's place of refuge, after everything that's happened.
FROM VIGILANTE TO HERO — Diggle (David Ramsey) and Felicity (Emily Bett Rickards) travel to Lian Yu in search of Oliver (Stephen Amell) who left StarlingCity after The Undertaking. Convinced to return home, Oliver finds that things are in worse shape than he thought – Isabel Rochev (guest star Summer Glau) is preparing a hostile takeover of Queen Consolidated, Thea (Willa Holland) refuses to visit Moira (Susanna Thompson) in jail, Roy (Colton Haynes) is trying to fill the void left by the Arrow’s absence, and Laurel (Katie Cassidy) is working with the District Attorney’s office to take down the vigilante. Meanwhile, flashbacks to the island show Slade (Manu Bennett), Shado (guest star Celina Jade) and Oliver in a desperate situation.
The British show about super-mutants being hunted by a secret organization is back, now with 1000 percent more teen angst. Check out our exclusive interview with the show's villain, Mark Pellegrino. Here's what's up in the first episode:
THE UNKNOWN — When Stephen Jameson (Robbie Amell) begins hearing voices and waking up in strange places, he starts to question his sanity. In desperation, Stephen decides to listen to one of the voices in his head, and it leads him to his first encounter with the Tomorrow People — John (Luke Mitchell), Cara (Peyton List) and Russell (Aaron Yoo) — a genetically advanced race with the abilities of telekinesis, teleportation and telepathic communication. The Tomorrow People inform him that they are being hunted down by a paramilitary group of scientists known as Ultra, led by Dr. Jedikiah Price (Mark Pellegrino). Meanwhile, Stephen gets another surprise that leads him down his own path, which he hopes will help him uncover the truth about his father’s (guest star Jeffrey Pierce, “Alcatraz”) mysterious disappearance.
Nova (9 PM, PBS):
This time around, Nova looks at the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, and the massive questions that the storm left behind.
Season three sounds as though it's going to blow the first two seasons out of the water in terms of insanity. Just the fact that it's about witches and the season opener is called "Bitchcraft," and Angela Bassett is playing the world-famous voodoo queen Marie Laveau. I hope you fastened your magical seatbelt:
A young girl, Zoe, is shattered to discover she possesses a strange genetic affliction tracing back to the dark days of Salem. Zoe is whisked away to Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies, a mysterious school in New Orleans devoted to safeguarding the few remaining descendants who share this unique bloodline. Harboring a secret agenda, Fiona Goode, the most powerful witch of their generation, returns to town, reigniting old rivalries with the Coven's deadly enemies, the Voodoo.
Also on TV tonight: Comedy Central has a new South Park at 10 PM.
Dragons: Defenders of Berk (7:30 PM, Cartoon Network)
The town's well runs dry, and the gang finds a group of baby Whispering Dragons living in the tunnels underneath, and it turns out Alvin left them there.
Do we need a Once Upon a Time spinoff? Is it even legal to do this franchise without Carlyle's crazy laughter? Just how bonkers will this show be? Here's what happens in the first episode:
In the series premiere episode, "Down the Rabbit Hole," Alice returns home to her father telling her that everyone thought she was dead. Her imaginative stories about a talking White Rabbit and a mystical place called Wonderland end up getting her admitted into an asylum where Dr. Lydgate convinces her to have a procedure that will allow her to forget her pain. Right before the operation is set to take place she is rescued by the Knave of Hearts who takes her to the rabbit who informs her that her true love Cyrus is still alive. As the trio then jumps into the portal returning to Wonderland, Alice sets out on a quest to find him but the villainous Jafar and the Red Queen have other plans for her.
Sometimes it takes this show an episode or two to get the crazy-machine cranked back up. So let's hope this week sees the return of head-spinning lunacy to MysticFalls. Here's what's up:
MISSING PERSONS — Without telling Elena (Nina Dobrev) that Stefan (Paul Wesley) is missing, Damon (Ian Somerhalder) turns to Sheriff Forbes (Marguerite MacIntyre) for help finding his brother. Elena and Caroline (Candice Accola) try to find out who is covering up a campus murder, and a fellow Whitmore student named Jesse (guest star Kendrick Sampson) gives Elena some intriguing information about Professor Wes Maxfield (guest star Rick Cosnett). While Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen) struggles to return to his old life, he continues to be the only person who can see and talk to Bonnie (Kat Graham), but he can’t convince her that it’s time to let the others know that she sacrificed her own life for his. After learning that Silas is searching for Katherine, Damon asks Matt (Zach Roerig) and Jeremy to keep her out of sight, but the situation quickly spirals out of control. Finally, Nadia (guest star Olga Fonda) uses violence to make a point about her own agenda.
Also on TV tonight: Cartoon Network has a new Legends of Chima at 7 PM. There's a new Deadtime Stories on Nickelodeon at 8 PM. CBS has a new Big Bang Theory at 8 PM (in which Amy ruins Raiders of the Lost Ark for Sheldon), and a new Elementary at 10 PM. At 9 PM, there's a new Mysteries at the Museum on Travel. At 10 PM, there's a new Unsealed: Alien Files on Discover America.
Avatar: The Legend of Korra (8:30 PM, Nickelodeon):
Note new timeslot. Apparently this is Nickelodeon's attempt to boost the show's disappointing ratings — at least it's not being moved to Nicktoons for now. This time around: "When triad activity threatens to put Future Industries out of business, Mako performs an investigation and uncovers a conspiracy."
The Neighbors (8:30 PM, ABC):
This time around, Jackie and Debbie go for makeovers at a salon that specializes in African American hairs — and "hairstyles ensue." Meanwhile, Dick tries to get Marty in shape, but it backfires and Dick is forced to learn about the American healthcare system. Okay then.
Haven (10 PM, Syfy):
This time around it's "The New Girl," and Nathan is teaming up with a brand new partner, as he deals with a monster who can change its victim's personalities.
Also on TV tonight: Disney has a new Dog With a Blog at 8:30 PM, and then a new Phineas & Ferb at 9:15 PM.
Ben 10: Omniverse/Beware the Batman (9:30 AM, Cartoon Network):
First, the Secret Saturdays show up to investigate a rash of chupacabra attacks. Like you do. And then Pyg and Toad target the gliteratti in the fashion industry. Like you do.
Check out a clip! The Turtles discover the alien Kraang survived their showdown — and they've put mutagen canisters all over the city. Can the Turtles defuse them in time? Too bad the Kraang have teamed up with Shredder.
It's a brand new CG-animated show about the classic Archie Comics character — I still miss the live-action show, with its beautifully creepy animatronic cat. Here's what to expect the first time around: "'Dance with Werewolves' — Sabrina’s witch world wreaks havoc with her human friends when Harvey puts on a cursed jacket as part of the costume he plans to wear to the premiere of a new werewolf movie. Later, Shinji crosses into the human world to seek revenge on Sabrina for standing him up at the full-moon dance."
Also on TV today: Disney XD has a new Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures at 7 PM, followed by a new Max Steel and a new Packages from Planet X. Nickelodeon has a new Monsters Vs. Aliens at noon, followed by a new Power Rangers at 1 PM. There's a new episode of R. L. Stine's The Haunting Hour on The Hub at 7 PM. Bruce Willis is on Saturday Night Live, so here's hoping for a Looper or Fifth Element skit.
Once Upon a Time (9 PM, ABC):
As usual lately, they're not really releasing any info about this episode — but here's a brief promo, at least. Apparently, we're meeting Tinkerbell!
This show is back, with yet another new showrunner. And by all accounts, this season will be the closest to the comic book the show's gotten thus far, and the season premiere features the most insane zombie set piece they've ever done. Here's what to expect from the season opener: "Rick and the group are as close to an ideal life as possible at the prison. Will they be able to hold on to humanity in the face of a new evil?"
Witches of East End (10 PM, Lifetime):
If this show was any guiltier a pleasure, you'd have to put it in jail. Here's what's on tap for week two: "Ingrid uses dangerous family heirlooms to resurrect her Aunt Wendy; Ingrid and her aunt race to save Freya; Joanna is questioned by the police; Dash and Killian have a tense reunion."
Also on TV today: Fox has its usual raft of animated TV shows in the evening. There's a new Masters of Sex on Showtime at 10 PM. At midnight, there's a new Aqua Teen Hunger Force on Adult Swim, followed by a new Squidbillies. Also at midnight: the season premiere of Comic Book Men on AMC.