I mean look at it. Look at it. There's no way some deranged wizard doesn't have a few of these things secretly hiding around his magic tower, waiting to attack unwary adventurers (or at least seriously freak them out).
Alas, the Undulating Penis Wall is not some magical chimera, but an art project by NYU student Peiqi Su, who used a 3D printer to create its waving rows of mechanical dildos. Technically, its name is just "Penis Wall," but I think "Undulating" adds so much verve, don't you? Here's Peiqi Su's official description of it:
This kinetic sculpture consists of 81 erectable penises that respond to either a viewer's movements or to realtime movements in the stock market.
The penis is so different! This is my initial motivation, to study one of the oldest and probably the most attractive thing that humans interact with.
The Penis Wall is made up of 3D printed penises that each have six segments driven by servo motors. Equipped with an ultrasonic distance sensor, each unit can respond to a viewer's movements. Moreover, the Penis Wall can also be used as a display to represent data, for instance, fluctuations in the stock market.
I'd say, "Well, everybody on Wall Street is a dick" but Peiqi Su actually already made that joke, when she said she was inspired to make the wall after hearing that exact sentence. Well played.
Which means I'm left wondering about how to get this into Dungeons & Dragons' next Monster Manual. Come on, Wizards of the Coast; it totally deserves to make the cut (so to speak). After all, we all know the penis is evil, and if there's one thing adventurers like slaying, it's evil!