The labcoat-wearing brain child of SMBC's Zach Weiner, Bad Astronomy's Phil Plait and illustrator Jess Fink, 27 Nerd Disses is easily the geekiest compendium of haughty one-liners ever assembled. Respect – you unlettered, historically oblivious, woefully innumerate brute.
The e-book is available for download over at Gumroad, for the unbelievable price of... whatever you want. Seriously, name your price and the collection is yours.
The book's foreword, written by Weiner, sets the stage for the 128 insults that await you:
If you’re like us, you’ve faced trouble from bullies. For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend.
In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.
To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 27 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while edu- cating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.
PS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you re- fuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.
Here are a few of our favorites:
#46: You're so bad at economics, you think doggy style is a positional good.
#74: You're so unlettered, you mistake the word malapropism for other similar sounding words.
#94: You're so innumerate, you think a Hamming distance is how far you are from bacon.
Because if high school taught us anything, it's that the best way to defeat a bully is with literary allusions and puns about geography. Trust us on this. It works.