The X-Files is the type of show that breeds odd theories, but we have one that’s not so much odd as it’s obvious: Mulder and Scully were having sex the whole time.


Haley Mlotek first wrote about this theory last year for The Hairpin, pointing out that Scully’s saintly tolerance for Mulder’s hijinks is a lot easier to understand when you accept, in your heart, that she dealt with the constant delusional thinking in pursuit of something quite different than a nebulous “truth:”

You know in the pilot episode when Scully thinks she’s been bitten by whatever thing they’re in the middle of nowhere investigating? I could look this up but I’m kind of enjoying doing this by memory. ANYWAY, she thinks she’s been bitten, and she knocks on Mulder’s door, and she’s wearing JUST A TRENCH COAT OVER HER BRA AND UNDERWEAR, and she SHOWS HIM JUST HER SHOULDER, and he TOUCHES THE BITE and SMILES and says “IT’S JUST A MOSQUITO BITE”? Like. I’m wet just remembering this. Are you telling me that they DIDN’T immediately have “wow I’m not going to die and I’m so relieved” sex right then and there? And that they weren’t kind of casually fucking every so often, which accounts for Scully’s gentle exasperation in the face of Mulder’s endearing but annoying paranoia? She just constantly has this expression of, like, “Ugh you’re annoying the shit out of me right now but that D was so good last night that I’m just going to shake my head and let it go.” Which is an expression I know well.

If you haven’t already finished your re-watch in anticipation of the new season, I highly encourage going back and looking at old episodes with the REAL truth in mind—these two attractive, single adults who spent all their time together and obviously had chemistry from day one were crazy enough to devote their lives to exposing government conspiracies from within the government, but not crazy enough to deny each other a distinctly earthly pleasure as they chased little green aliens in the sky.