There comes a time in everyone’s life that they come across a piece of news that renders them mute. News so baffling, so incomprehensible, the very act of language is impossible, news so profound that you are stunned into a damning silence. Ladies and Gentlemen: This is that news.

Asylum, the studio behind Sharknado—ah, now this makes much more sense!—have announced plans for a a “futuristic zombie western” movie, penned by Backstreet Boy (Backstreet Man?) Nick Carter. Carter will also star, and had this to say about his deep, complex, and dramatically compelling lead character:

My character is still being worked out right now, but I’m a good guy that’s going to help save the day.

Perfection.

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Joining Carter in the cast of the tentatively-titled Dead 7 are fellow Backstreet Boys Howie Dorough and A.J. McLean, while ‘Nsync is currently solely represented in the cast by Joey Fatone. You’re telling me Justin Timberlake hasn’t signed up for this? I am shocked. SHOCKED, I SAY.

Although Carter has no credentials in the world of moviemaking, he does have a record for some truly bizarre Backstreet Boys crossovers—in 2000, he collaborated with Stan Lee to write a one-shot comic book that re-imagined the band as a group of superheroes called the Cyber Crusaders:

Only time will tell whether Dead 7 or The Backstreet Project will go down in history as the ultimate Backstreet Boys media production.

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[Via Rolling Stone]