How could anyone go two years without noticing something this huge? Well, humans have been around for 200,000. Bristle worms and their polychaete brothers have survived five mass extinctions.
Everything is usually way cooler in slow-motion. An amazing football catch, a kick-ass movie fight scene, a gravity-defying skateboard trick—but apparently that logic doesn’t apply to some dude sticking his tongue in a loaded mouse trap. If you don’t cringe in horror when watching this, then you’re not human.
I remember the exact place where they were kept. They hovered together, trapped tightly between two wood slabs until they could be freed. I tried to ignore them, but they called out to me, over and over, in a deep low-pitched moan. Aliiiiiiiiissa. Aliiiiiiiiiissa.
This is Momotaro, a cat whose documented response to unwanted food is a universal expression of "No. No. No. No. No." This cat has ruined my allegiance to the Nope Octopus.
Because every movie you don't care about has already been recycled at least once, Paramount has decided to begin rebooting the ones you actually do care about — starting with The Naked Gun.