Some of us love spoilers—but some of us really, really hate them. Spoilers have become an especially charged topic of late, with the new Star Wars movie among other things. So it’s a good thing you can sign on to a new Kickstarter for SpoilerFree and erase those spoilers from your brain!

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Okay, not really. SpoilerFree is a fictional device that is one of the weird inventions featured in Help Fund My Robot Army, an anthology of made-up Kickstarters. Still, it’s a pretty compelling pitch:

How The SpoilerFree Device Works

Simply place the neural harness on your head and adjust the straps until it is comfortably snug and the electrode pads are as close as possible to your scalp; for maximum effectiveness, please shave your head. If we meet our first stretch goal, you will also have the option of applying our special conductive gel to the electrode pads.

Next, press the green button on the control pad or your Bluetooth-enabled mobile device running our SpoilerFree app. Now, think of the thing that you want to forget—really picture it, the outrage and indignation, and the smug arrogance of the person who ruined everything. Now press the red button and keep trying to remember the spoiler. When the device has scrubbed all traces of that enjoyment-sapping experience from your head, it will play a pleasant chime.

And that’s it. It’s really that simple. Our prototype has been thoroughly tested and safeguards in our application’s software will ensure that you don’t forget anything important like your spouse’s name or the smell of lavender.

The story “For Entertainment Purposes” by Jeremiah Tolbert is pretty hilarious and thought-provoking in general. Read the whole thing here.


Contact the author at charliejane@io9.com and follow her on Twitter @CharlieJane