R-Rated food comedy/Seth Rogen wiener vehicle Sausage Party opened this weekend, and I saw it along with plenty of other people (though not as many as Suicide Squad.) It wasn’t very good! What it had—in spades—was a lot of dirty jokes, racially-charged “humor,” and graphic food sex.

Advertisement

Far funnier than the movie itself is how parental advisory site Kids In Mind tries to describe these various sequences in distant, clinical language to alert parents to the potentially offensive scenes they might expose their children to. (The site rates Sausage Party’s sex and nudity, violence and gore, and profanity as 9, 6, and 10 out of 10, respectively.)

Below are some choice quotes from the Kids In Mind assessment of The Movie Where The Food Fucks. Spoilers, obviously:


Four items make an anal-vaginal-oral daisy chain, all thrusting wildly as a taco sucks violently on a hotdog

Advertisement

[T]he douche opens the zipper from inside and laughs maniacally, pinches the shouting man’s genitals

A bagel and a flatbread tell each other they will perform oral sex on each other

[H]e later breaks a bottle of tequila, drinks some and throws the bottle neck into the crotch of a food package between its legs (it grabs its crotch and moans)

Advertisement

Sponsored

[A] powdery herb-drug is thrown onto a campfire and is loaded into a kazoo and a few items smoke from the kazoo and look dazed

A hotdog hangs on the running board of a fast moving car and reaches a house

Advertisement

A woman (animated) is wearing skin tight pants wiggles her behind as we see it in close-up and we see her groin area in close-up from inside a grocery cart

[H]e later puts a match to some jet fuel and flies a man through a skylight and into the sky to explode as fireworks and peanuts in the shell catch a bloody eye as it falls

Read the rest here.