The moment we get immersive virtual reality, you know what people are going to use it for: the same thing we've used every other new technology for. And as long as movies have depicted virtual environments, there have been ridiculous VR sex scenes. Here are the most bizarre and hilarious VR hookups of all time.
Warning: NSFW videos below!
Top image: The Lawnmower Man.
Sylvester Stallone has a lot of adjusting to do when he wakes up in 2032 — including those three seashells that replaced toilet paper. But one of the biggest adjustments comes when he tries to have sex with Sandra Bullock — and it turns out that this involves a "digitized transference of sexual energies" instead of the "hunk-a chunk-a," as Sly puts it.
The main character, Menno, programs computers at a place called The Resort, which allows people to live out their fantasies via virtual reality. Which means one thing: virtual sex fantasies. And when he's not programming VR sex fantasies for people, Menno has to deal with terrorists, or whatever. (Skip to 15:26 in the video above to see a truly demented sequence where the whizkid decides to punish a guy named Milton by creating a nightmarish fish-eye-lens sex fantasy which is then interrupted, Harry Mudd-style.)
The Lawnmower Man
The Lawnmower Man is an odd mash-up of Flowers for Algernon with virtual reality. One of the least faithful Stephen King adaptations of all time, this movie involves Pierce Brosnan turning a handyman (Jeff Fahey) into a super-genius who spends too much time in VR. The most memorable scene is where Jobe has a virtual tryst with Marnie, the widowed neighbor. Warning: video starts out dorky and insane, and ends up becoming actually pretty disturbing as Marnie is swallowed up by Jobe's cyber-id. Somehow, becoming a super-genius doesn't help Jobe to understand that no means no.
Cyberella: Forbidden Passions
This a strong contender for the weirdest VR sex movie of all time. Mara wrote a virtual reality program called Dreamworlds, but while she's inside her own program, she dies in a fire. But Mara's mind remains alive inside her VR program — and then she meets God. Who wants her to heal people, by having VR sex with them. If Mara provides enough virtual sex therapy to lonely dorks, she will eventually go to Heaven. Or something.
Skip to about 21:00 in the above video. TekWar is a TV show created by William Shatner, in which Jack Cardigan takes down Tek Lords, the distributors of a narcotic called Tek that's a "mind blowing virtual reality stimulant." And this leads to, among other things, a steamy virtual hookup.
Eve escapes from prison, and is on the run — so she decides to use a virtual reality game to try and create a new identity for herself. Which means one thing... lots and lots of VR nookie. In the clip above, she decides to model herself on Botticelli's Venus (good choice) and go aboard a virtual train called the Midnight Express (bad choice.) There, the conductor will bring whoever she wants into her compartment. Including the trio with the bondage harnesses and leashes.
Skip to about 13:37 in the above video. The Emmanuelle series frequently ventured into some pretty strange directions — she met Dracula. She gained access to a device that let her take over other people's bodies remotely. She went into space. And in Emmanuelle 7, she starts a virtual reality sex clinic, so she can help people work through their sexual problems. Of course, Emmanuelle has to watch, because therapy. Warning: video is really quite NSFW.
One of the most artistic hardcore porn movies ever made, I.K.U. is regarded as an important work of cyberpunk. And among other things, it involves a lot of cyber-hookups and people being able to download orgasms via the Internet. Here's a plot synopsis, via Cyberpunk Review:
I.K.U. takes place in a very strange near-future Japan and follows a day in the life of a sex-roid from the GENOM corporation, who has the ability to change her outside shape to mimic different female body types. Her job is to collect "sexual experiences" by engaging in sexual acts with various people. The experiences are collected in order to produce virtual reality-like I.K.U. chips that are then sold in vending machines. The idea is that people can buy the chips and then "wire in" on the sexual encounter. Unfortunately, a rival corporation has developed rival androids who's job is to insert a virus into the sex-droids and steal their "experiences" so that it can make its own rival chips.
In this movie, a woman gets an invite to the "exclusive" club Virtual Encounters, where she puts on a motorcycle helmet with tubes sticking out of it, and one ribbed glove. And then she finds herself in Sting's bedroom, with a million candles. And here's a brief clip from the sequel, Virtual Encounters 2:
You'll notice the VR rig has been somewhat streamlined down to just goggles and a glove, and a woman uses it to visit a strip club that has way too much dry ice. In Virtual Encounters 2, the VR rig has fallen into the hands of some horny college students, who are using it to seduce their classmates, and also trying to start their own VR sex business.
A programming genius creates the ultimate holographic sex kitten — but she falls in love with him and doesn't understand when he wants to sell her to other people. Soon he, and others, discover that there's nothing worse than a jealous computer program wearing sexy lingerie and cowboy boots. Note the amazing 1990s greenscreen backgrounds, and the requisite "cyber-tunnel" effects.
A man's wife dies and he remarries. The man (Jeff Fahey again!) also happens to be in possession of a virtual reality machine. After being happily remarried one day he sees his first wife through the viewer on his VR machine. Without considering the consequences he decides to cheat on his new wife with the cyber-ghost of his first wife. What is it with Jeff Fahey and making terrible choices when it comes to cybersex? Skip to about 45:30 in the video above for a truly astonishing scene where Jeff Fahey is "posing" and his dead wife is a painter, and there are cyber-rosebuds everywhere.
Sex Files: Sexual Matrix
A college professor designs a virtual reality simulator, and immediately decides to use it to get inside people's erotic fantasies. What sets this movie apart from the tons of other softcore VR sex films is the incredibly beautiful dialogue, like "Professor, it appears that the modulation is directly proportional to the level of sexual arousal. Should we try direct physical stimulation now?" Imagine lines like that delivered in the most wooden porn-actor voices. In the clip above, the professor tries his own VR rig and gets trapped in Tron bondage by his ex-wife.
Additional reporting by Ryan Plummer.