Some holidays come with food. Valentine’s Day and chocolates, Thanksgiving and turkey, Halloween and a bag full of candy from a stranger... but Father’s Day has always been left off the list. Until now, when the good people at Star Wars.com have given us a pretzel that says both “I think you might be evil” and “I may have never actually seen Star Wars.”

The recipe looks perfectly tasty, but the design... Look. If this is the professional’s take, the average home cook is going to do much worse. Maybe a Great British Bake Off contestant would pull off something that looked like it had been made by ILM, but I doubt anyone else could make this into something recognizable.

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I can’t stop staring at this thing. It’s like a Rorschach bread test. I see a cuddly bear. I see a jellyfish with very small tentacles. I see a half-plucked flower on top of a broken plate. I see Cthulu.

Wait... this is a trick, isn’t it? Is it actually a way to summon an Old One into my kitchen? Well, that would make a better Father’s Day gift.