Nearly everything that happens on Damien is utterly ridiculous. But we’ve narrowed it down to the three most WTF-did-that-just-happen moments. Par for the course when you’re dealing with the Antichrist, the type of guy who can inspire spontaneous self-castration among those in his midst.

Yeah. That totally went down, in the police station, no less, and it’s not even on the most ridiculous list.

First, we saw Simone take a bath—which seemed a little gratuitous to be honest—and pull this out of the drain:

Okay. Then, when Damien’s chest-butting with a rightfully suspicious Detective Shay, the cop visits a vending machine that’s photographed so ominously I half-expected the dramatically-dispensed snacks to explode after dropping down.

(They don’t.) Damien. You’re trying way too hard with this.

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And finally, when Detective Shay and his husband are cooking breakfast (in the happiest scene ever depicted on this show), their son wanders outside, lured by a member of Damien’s Rottweiler posse. There’s a pool outside. And while Shay’s frantically searching for his kid, this rises up from beneath the cover.

Fortunately, even Damien (which, again, showed an old man stabbing himself in the crotch) doesn’t have the stones to kill a kid. But neither did The Omen—a movie which, let’s not forget, was a masterpiece of cartoonish-yet-terrifying violence.