Instead of following in the steps of a Noah or Exodus, Warner Bros. is going a different route for its next loosely-based-on-the-Bible story. This time, it’s going to be loosely based on a book loosely based on the Bible. A yes, Dante. The original self-insert Bible fanfiction writer.

Deadline reports that Warner Bros. has bought a script from Dwain Worrell based on Dante Alighieri’s Inferno. It’s core is going to be the love story — Dante going through hell after the woman he loves. Ironically, that is not the part most people remember. The parts we all know are the nine circles: Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Anger, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, and Treachery.

Apparently, Warner Bros. is excited by the “franchise potential” of the project. Which is endlessly hilarious to me because Purgatorio and Paradiso are so much more boring than Inferno. There’s a reason most people can only tell you things about one-third of the Divine Comedy. Nevertheless, I am looking forward to Paradiso being split into two movies to capitalize on the franchise, Twilight-style.

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(Yes, yes, I know that, from a literary perspective, they’re important. And that, without them, you would erroneously believe the Dante’s message is all punishment all the time. They’re still far less fun than Inferno.)

Top image: Chart of Hell by Botticelli


Contact the author at katharine@io9.com.