This weekend is Valentine’s Day, which is a celebration of beekeeping, plague and epilepsy, according to my research. Accordingly, we here at io9 have some valentines for you, our favorite readers.

We’ll admit off the bat that we were really stuck on Star Wars: The Force Awakens for inspiration. Mostly because the official ones are so bad. They range from the plain and weirdly dogmatic:

to the deeply confusing:

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No, we don’t know why Phasma’s idea of a valentine is to just announce her employer. If I ever send a valentine that says “Gawker Media, my valentine!” get me help immediately. Our four are infinitely better:

Also, we have one bonus Mad Max: Fury Road valentine because we just can’t help ourselves:

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Art by Sam Woolley