It's summer time, which means we're going on vacation! Too bad all the places we want to visit are fictional... and would probably kill us. But who cares? We'd rather die in the claws of a T-Rex, or listening to an alien Diva sing, than in Florida (sorry, Florida). Here are the nine deadliest vacation spots we'd love to visit.
9. Risa - Star Trek
Sex town, party of one! The lovely, lovely Risa is home to many off-camera Trek romps and shore-leave escapades. We love this beautiful planet that was created for one thing: pleasure! Sadly, we would probably never leave, and would be struck down by the Borg when they came in and cleaned house. But I'm sure it would be most pleasurable in the meantime.
8. Zegema Beach - Starship Troopers
Full disclosure, we just want to go here so we can run around saying "Zegema Beach" like some futuristic asshat, until our dying day. Zegema Beach! Zegema Beach? Zegema Beach. Located on the fabulous "Outer Rings," Zegema Beach is eventually blasted away by the Bugs. Too bad so sad, Zegema Beach.
7. Rekall - Total Recall
As brain bendy as the whole "vacation away from yourself" appears to be in Total Recall, we'd still do it. Personally, we'd choose the Rock God scenario over the secret agent thing, every time.
6. Fhloston Paradise Luxury Cruise Liner - The Fifth Element
Entrancing live entertainment, sick rooms, gorgeous space views... plus the entire staff is dressed in adorable sailor uniforms. Fhloston is the ultimate in doomed space luxury, and we want to party on that ship before it goes down.
5. Chewandswallow — Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs
A foodie retreat! Imagine a vacation so gluttonous all you have to do is open your mouth and delicious treats will fall into your facehole! We would actually pay someone to do this right here, right now. But the best thing about Chewandswallow Town is the food falling from the sky is free! Just keep your eyes open so you're not crushed under a giant donut. But even if you are, there are worse ways to go.
4. West World, Medieval World or Roman World - Westworld
This is a great twist on the whole "I want to kill someone, but I don't want to feel guilty about it in the morning" vacation. The whole robot uprising just makes the fighting that much more interesting.
3. Jurassic Park - Jurassic Park
It would be totally worth the disembowelment, to be hunted in real life by a real-life raptor. And oh dear, sweet bearded John Hammond — think of all the sexy zookeeper outfits or gritty paleontologists pantsuits you could dream up, not to mention the amber cane accessories! But more than anything, we just want to meet Mr. DNA.
2. Time Safari - A Sound of Thunder
Speaking of hunting dinosaurs, why not a time safari? Are we that pigheaded, that we think we deserve to cause a ripple in the fabric of time so we can get our rocks off and kill a tar-trapped T-Rex? Hell yes we are. Besides, the alternate Earth created by this time traveling tomfoolery was way better then the real deal (there were NO ANIMALS). So not only are we entertained, but we basically fixed the planet with our vacation. You're welcome.
1. The Titanic - Doctor Who
What better way to relive the style and class aboard the doomed luxury liner than recreating the whole thing IN SPACE? Sure, the voyage is doomed, but think of all the delightful aliens you can meet whilst stuffing your face with otherworldly delicacies!