This Week's Comics: Popeye Vs. Martians! The Dresden Files! And The Situation is a superhero?!Charlie Jane Anders1/01/13 4:30pmFiled to: Comics we craveComicstweetMarvelDc ComicsSuperheroes23EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkStart your year off right, with some daring adventures and a little dash of WTF. Your local comics store is here for you, with some completely insane new licensed properties, plus some classics that are finally available in trade format. Did you ever want to see Popeye the Sailor Man fight Martians? Or the Situation becoming a superhero? Or if you really want to be daring, you could always delve into the secrets of the Vaginapocalypse.AdvertisementHere's all the week's most exciting new comics. First IssuesDynamite has Jim Butchers Dresden Files Ghoul Goblin #1:AdvertisementAn original comic series set in the official Dresden Files continuity! Harry Dresden has survived the events of Fool Moon — barely — but all is not well in his world. He's still alienated from his closest friend, Karrin Murphy, and on exceedingly poor terms with Chicago's number one gangster, John Marcone. And that's just the small stuff — the creatures of the Nevernever don't take vacations and aren't particularly worried about Harry's friendships or love life.But that's not the only licensed comic that might tickle your fancy this week. Image has Mars Attacks Popeye, the start of a weekly event where the Mars Attacks Martians invade five different IDW series, one per week. And Wizard World is publishing The Situation #1 in which Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino tries to use "his powers" to protect people while his brothers are just trying to take advantage of them. What do you think the Situation's powers are? Having only watched one episode of Jersey Shore, I'm guessing they're ab-related.But if you want non-licensed properties and some actual superhero action, then Marvel is relaunching New Avengers from scratch, featuring the Illuminati. Here's the skinny:SponsoredTo prevent the collision of our universe with another, the Illuminati, led by the Black Panther, must assemble NOW! It's the most powerful and brilliant team in the Marvel Universe—The Black Panther, Iron Man, Doctor Strange, Black Bolt, Mister Fantastic, Namor the Sub-Mariner and The Beast—against an infinite legion of parallel realities.Also from Marvel: the first issue of Punisher Nightmare, a weekly five-issue miniseries.Trade Paperbacks and HardcoversImage Comics offers the first collection of Alpha Girl, and I'm just going to quote the plot synopsis verbatim:AdvertisementWhat happens when a third rate cosmetics company accidentally creates a pheromone that transforms the female population into man eating monsters? Enter the world of Alpha Girl, and follow Judith Meyers on her quest to survive and rescue her little brother from the vaginapocalypse.Also, Image has the second volume of Fatale, which gets you up to speed just in time for issue #11 to come out this week. And there's also Hack Slash Vol. 11: Marry F*ck Kill.The most intriguing selection of the week, though, might be the Glitter Kiss graphic novel from Oni Press:AdvertisementOne kiss from Tinka's sparkling lips leads to some unexpected consequences for the callous boys of Portage High School. After a secret romance goes up in flames, she looks to a fortune teller for answers on finding true love, which leads to the summoning of some accidental—but hilarious—magic. But in the end, Tinka has to learn to take responsibility for her own decisions, with or without the aid of magic.Doesn't that sound kind of awesome?The big news from DC Comics is the Batman Incorporated collection, compiling "the first eight issues of the 2010 series, plus BATMAN, INCORPORATED: LEVIATHAN STRIKES #1." Find out just what tax benefits Batman gets from becoming a Limited Liability Corporation — and just how far the Caped Crusader will go to avoid the Estate Tax changes coming in 2013 as a result of the Fiscal Cliff compromise. (Batman plans ahead.) Also from DC this week: a trade paperback of Green Lantern Volume 1: Sinestro and Justice League International Volume 2: Breakdown. And there's also a hardcover, Green Lantern Volume 2: Revenge Of The Black Hand.AdvertisementAdvertisementBut meanwhile, DC is also finally putting out the second volume of Steve Gerber's superteen-in-prison series Hard Time. Here's the deets:After being convicted of a high-school shooting, 16-year-old Ethan Chiles is sentenced to 50 years in prison. But something powerful is growing in Ethan, giving him an almost uncontrollable power. In this second collection, Ethan leaves solitary confinement and rejoins the prison's general population. But can his strange power keep him and his few friends alive?And Fantagraphics has a brand new hardcover, Delphine:Richard Sala (The Hidden) takes the tale of Snow White and stands it on its head, retelling it from Prince Charming's perspective in a contemporary setting. This twisted tale includes all the elements of terror from the original fairy tale with none of the insipid saccharine coating of the Disney animated adaptation.Or if you just want big robots and sexy vampires, IDW has Transformers Robots In Disguise Volume 2. And Dynamite has Vampirella Vol. 3: Throne Of Skulls.And last but definitely not least, Marvel is putting out a paperback of Nova Classic — featuring the O.G. cosmic hero with a helmet in action. He's basically Marvel's answer to Green Lantern, but I've always had a huge soft spot for Nova. Here's what Marvel wants you to know:AdvertisementStruck by a ray of energy sent by a dying alien, ordinary high-school student Richard Rider has inherited the mantle of an intergalactic Nova Centurion - and all the headaches that come with it! And even the powers of a human rocket can't help Richard outrun a rogues' gallery that includes Zorr, Condor, Powerhouse, Diamondhead, the Corrupter, Megaman - and the dreaded Sphinx, who wants to claim a secret the newly minted Nova doesn't even know he's carrying! Can Richard balance schoolwork, a social life and a near-constant string of arch-villains? And if not, which will he lose first - his dreams or his life? Guest-starring Spider-Man in an amazing two-part murder mystery!Other paperbacks include Carnage: Minimum Carnage, Defenders By Matt Fraction Vol. 2 and Wolverine And the X-Men: Alpha And Omega. And in hardcover, there's Ultimate Comics Spider-Man Vol. 3.AdvertisementAs usual, here's the list of everything being released to comic stores tomorrow, and you can find your nearest comic retailer here.