Do you hate geese? Of course you do. Fear not, because the GOOSINATOR is here to save the day.
Geese are probably pretty much the worst things on Earth. People talk about the Black Death like it was some sort of great scourge of humanity, but biblical-grade plague can't hold a candle to geese, in the grand scheme of things. Geese are noisy, immense, and ornery in a way that makes you wonder what selective pressures could possibly have shaped the evolution of a bird whose most finely honed skills are, in essence:
1. Chasing after you (yes you, casual jogger/trail-walker/riverside picnic-enjoyer), hissing wildly as it waddles toward you more quickly and aggressively than a word like "waddle" would lead you to believe is possible.
2. Pooping EVERYWHERE. (A single goose drops over one pound of poop per day.)
Geese, their violent tendencies, and their prolific bowels can get so bad that sometimes authorities are forced to bring in other animals to scare them off. Often these enforcer-animals are swans, because if there's one thing you can rely on to get rid of big, noisy, belligerent birds, it's bigger, noisier, more belligerent birds. Sometimes the swan thing works (kind of). Other times, people wind up dead. So, you know, kind of a toss-up.