Every now and again I miss grad school, despite the fact that my fondest memories involved drinking, watching Lost before it became completely godawful, or some combination thereof. Still, the urge to fashion an essay of substantive academic merit silently looms over me, like the world's least exciting poltergeist. (This itch is generally triggered by photos of Josh Holloway without a shirt on.)
So it is with zero apology that I'll abuse my present station and subject you to my ruminations on Billy Ocean's "Loverboy," the tapedeck dreadnought this side of Jeffrey Osborne's "Stay With Me Tonight." Why? This io9 favorite has a bafflingly uncelebrated music video that resembles Star Wars if Lucasfilm was funded solely by bingo tournaments. Feel free to submit your peer review in the comments.