This is Garrison Dean, io9's resident viscount of photoshopperie, reporting in. Much like your significant other, I've been distant, busy with work, and just not fulfilling your needs. But it's Valentine's Day! And on Valentine's Day, I can make up for all my shortcomings and patch our fragile relationship with a short, cheap, burst of branded sentiment. And that is exactly what I have for you here!

This is for Mrs. Dean who absolutely loves The Fly. Go figure. She only refers to Jeff Goldblum as Brundlefly.

If you use this card you MUST play Iron Maiden's "The Prisoner" while necking.

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Ah McConaughey...the Ryan Gosling of the 90s. So dreamy.

It was this or the top-down boobie grab shot. I stand by my choice. Only because I couldn't think of copy for the other one. Sigh.

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Bane...not understood? Or just misunderstood?

That J.J. Abrams! So mysterious! Are there hidden messages in this card? Maybe. No. I mean, yes! Or do I?

And for more past Valentine's Day fun, behold last year's disasters. Also, 2010's!

This is Garrison Dean (hi-res pdfs at my site linked there) saying I love you all, and since we're talking lovers, go check out Mrs. Dean's blog!