Last night saw the beginning of The CW's new supernatural smut night, with the season premiere of The Vampire Diaries, followed by the series premiere of The Secret Circle. So which show was hotter? We painstakingly went through and tabulated all the sexiest moments from both premieres.
Before we get started, a point of order — it might seem skeevy to talk about the sexiness of shows that have teen characters. But let's just remember that this is Hollywood, and all of these supposedly teen actors are in their 20s. We are not actually condoning macking on underage people, okay? With that said...
This was the first time we saw Damon last night, and a very strong opening statement. The man loves his morning champagne, and also apparently likes other things in the morning. I love his, "What if I'd been... indecent?" And Elena should lighten up, really. This scene is made retroactively sad by what happens to Damon's semi-mind-controlled sassy girlfriend at the end of the episode though.
Every scene between Jeremy and Matt
Seriously. I never noticed how much chemistry those two have before. I am now officially a Jatt shipper. (Meremy? Whatever.) They are made for each other. All those scenes of them smoking out and driving around together and sharing secrets and bonding... I'm calling it. Jeremy/Matt is the new Damon/Alaric.
Tyler and Caroline bonding over being horny
The two of them talking about how much they wanted to get laid was hotter than a lot of people actually getting physical. Just something about the way Tyler gave Caroline a sly look when he talked about his werewolf blue balls, and the cute grin Caroline gave him. Plus Tyler dating Slutty Sue or whatever her name was... awesome. I am now fully rooting for these two as a couple. Which means they're doomed.
Every scene between Klaus and Stefan
OMG. These two came awfully close to kissing a few times last night, and would anyone have minded? Stefan is already in Klaus' service, as he puts it. So why shouldn't he provide other types of service? I love Klaus telling Stefan that every time he feeds, he's going to get naughtier. Oh, and people who doubt the ability of Paul Wesley to bring other things besides "sweet muppet" to his performance should think again after last night's episode. Mostly, though, I just want Klaus and Stefan to do a lot more bonding.
The actual Tyler/Caroline hookup
You didn't think we were going to leave this out, did you? After all the buildup, this was surprisingly great, even if it did happen during the angsty emo montage at the end.
The Secret Circle
Sadly, there were only three things that jumped out at me from this show...
Faye making Cassie's car catch on fire
I almost thought Faye was telling Cassie to "put out." We promised you Sapphic car-immolation, and this definitely lived up to the label. Faye is obviously meant to be the Damon on this show, and even though we're supposed to be worrying about the Cassie-Adam-Diana triangle, I'm pretty much already a Faye/Cassie shipper. Faye's eyebrows are epic!
Adam and Cassie making water blobs float and almost kissing
This was obviously supposed to be the episode's sexy moment, what with the hands touching and the "tingling" and the almost-kiss. And it was a sweet moment. Nothing caught on fire, though.
Faye making it rain
I think we're seeing a pattern here. Faye is clearly the main reason to watch this show at this point, although you know that by season two she's going to be semi-reformed. Hopefully, the "Damon" analogy means that season three will start with her wandering around naked in search of champagne, shocking the hell out of everyone.
Advantage: Vampire Diaries. It's not even close. Step up your game, Secret Circle.