After the Chinese hacker attacks on Google, we're all ready for the first Internet War to begin. But how would such a war really start? One guy has a mesmerizingly crazy idea . . .
Over at Forbes, tech writer Mark Gibbs predicts the internet world will go to war after the civil liberties non-profit Electronic Frontier Foundation issues its "Tor Challenge," a call for people to set up computer systems (using Tor software) that help dissidents get information out to the public anonymously. You know, dissidents like Chinese protesters.
Somehow, the idea that ordinary citizens might help dissidents by installing free software got Gibbs thinking about . . . infogeddon!
June1, 2011: The EFF launches the Tor Challenge
July 12, 2011: 1,000 new Tor nodes appear online
July 20, 2011: First reports of serious hacking and DDOS attacks on all Tor nodes
August 3, 2011: An unsanctioned Tor node is run inside a major US Bank by rogue tech staff and becomes the source of a malware attack that downs the bank for 24 hours. Billions of dollars lost. Congress wakes up …
August 23, 2011: Sen. Rockefeller, Snow, Lieberman, and President Obama, et al, fire up the Internet Kill Switch bill all over again.
August 30, 2011: 95% of all Tor nodes under constant attack causing random Internet traffic outages.
September 17, 2011: Congress overwhelmingly passes the Securing And Firewalling Everything (SAFE) Act which mandates firewall use and traffic management standards for all US Internet Service Providers and which also includes all the provisions of the Protect IP Act as well as those of the Internet Kill Switch program.
October 9, 2011: Despite the SAFE Act being passed nothing changes because the Act will (optimistically) take at least a year to implement.
October 12, 2011: Hacktivist groups worldwide are involved. There are now 250,000 Tor nodes worldwide (over half are provided by botnets created by, as they call themselves, "Freedom Hackers").
October 17, 2011: It is now estimated that some 10 million botnet nodes are co-opted into DDOS attacks against both the Tor nodes and the Chinese government.
October 21, 2011: Harold Camping revises his end of World prediction to January 1, 2012 claiming that the devil misled him in his numerology as well as in that financial thing the Feds are claiming he did.
November 2, 2011: 35% of all Internet traffic estimated to be related to what is being called IW1
November 25, 2011: IW1 bandwidth spikes to 60% and "Black Friday" traffic transactions impacted to the tune of $500 billion.
November 26, 2011: Obama declares a national emergency and using the SAFE Act, effectively cuts the US Internet off from the rest of the world. International financial transactions to the tune of $6 trillion are delayed for up to 72 hours.
November 26, 2011: Greece, Ireland, and half a dozen other weak economies fail and default.
November 30, 2011: Turkey forced into default. In the ensuing chaos, terrorist attacks launched, it is believed, from Pakistan and Saudi Arabia kill thousands.
December 10, 2011: NATO and the UN send troops with the bulk of the manpower coming from US troops redeployed from Iraq and Afghanistan.
December 13, 2011: Russia sides with the Chinese over the changed balance of power in the mideast and they jointly deploy troops to Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, and Iran …
January 1, 2012: Harold Camping proved correct. At last.
I just want to start yelling, "Dude I haz botnetz!" Is that wrong?