Haunted brothels that will (not) scare the pants off youCyriaque Lamar5/10/11 3:15pmFiled to: Ghost sexpseudoscienceGhostsBrothelsTopStrip ClubsSexParanormal271EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalink Ghosts dwell in all sorts of geographical locales, and brothels are no exception. Here are five cat houses (and one exotic dancing establishment) that have tenants from beyond the grave. DISCLAIMER: Should any of these ghosts actually exist, please do not attempt to engage them in intercourse (intellectual or otherwise). The disembodied dead can be terrifically fickle, and if Hong Kong horror films have taught me anything, ectoplasmic loving isn't all Patrick Swayze laying the sexy on Demi Moore (by way of Whoopi Goldberg). First up, we have the Birdcage Theater in Tombstone, Arizona. This old saloon is said to be inhabited by the spirits of deceased rowdy patrons. Says Atlas Obscura: According to the operators of the saloon twenty-six ghosts apparently still love to party at this historic brothel/saloon in Southern Arizona, and is a frequent stop for ghost hunters from all over the world. Supposedly shouting and loud music is sometimes heard at night, and some tourists have claimed smelling cigar smoke and whiskey in the air. Although it's not a brothel, we'd be remiss if we didn't mention Liquid Assets strip club in South Plainfield, New Jersey. It's apparently haunted by the spirit of gangster Vincent "Mad Dog" Coll, who kicked it in 1932. Unsurprisingly, the spirit enjoys divesting the club's employees of their garments. And here's a longer segment on Liquid Assets from the Biography Channel. On a somewhat related note, I realize there is an untapped market for raunchy, club-appropriate Halloween novelty songs. The Ying Yang Twins could make a fortune if they wrote a paean to trick-or-treating and waving one's bottom fore and aft. In Sierra Vista, Arizona, a local bar and former brothel is supposedly haunted by a ghost named Max. Be forewarned that he's not a sexy ghost — most of his pranks are limited to screwing around with the jukebox and stealing nips from the whiskey supply. FOX 17 in Michigan recently did some hard-hitting investigative journalism at downtown Kalamazoo's A-1 Printing Building, which was once a house of ill repute. Frankly, I find the notion of a haunted copy center a way more frightening proposition. An enterprising poltergeist could easily jam all the printers and waste expensive toner on scary wall messages. According to the residents of Nevada's infamous Moonlite Bunnyranch, two ghosts haunt the premises, and one of these spirits has sparred with two US governors. Said a BunnyRanch employee in 2004: Advertisement Advertisement Max, sitting in room 13A on a black faux fur bedspread, said she believes the BunnyRanch has a male and female ghost. The female ghost is kind and often stops by just to say "hey." The male isn't as friendly. "I've seen the door open and close and when it closes I've seen an energy there," she said. "And it looked like the alien in 'Predator.'" Max shook her hands in the air to demonstrate the blur. "He's male and he's not friendly." In 2008, Ellen Page admitted that she lived in a haunted ex-whorehouse in Halifax, Nova Scotia, but I'm not sure "Kitty Pryde's old house" qualifies as a historical landmark.Birdcage Theater photo via Hawkeye58 via Wikimedia Commons.