While scanning my news feed yesterday, I came across a TV spot for Toy Biz's 1991 line of X-Men action figures. The ad featured Wolverine (forever bearing a constipated, plastic rictus grimace) stopping Magneto from conquering a toll bridge.
Sure, most retro toy ads were seemingly written by Madison Avenue brain trusts flying high on child-like wonderment and prescription painkillers, but this ad was particularly noteworthy. Why? It's a time capsule from an era when pop culture had no idea what the hell to do with the X-Men. Let's get into the anatomy (and ineptitude) of mutant marketing.