Do you wish that special lady in your life had the gamma-irradiated décolletage of She-Hulk? The 40-10-40 measurements of Black Widow? The willingness to traipse about in her underwear like Emma Frost? Body proportions out of a Rob Liefeld comic?

Why not get her these classy Marvel pajamas from Spencer's, which overlay the Marvel heroines' ludicrously stylized figures on top of your inamorata's ho-hum human form? More power to you if you sincerely want to don this sleepwear, but I'm surprised given the selection that there aren't clear cellophane Sue Storm PJs for sale.

Why is there fire? Apparently the Black Widow nightie depicts Natasha Romanoff mid-spontaneous combustion.

Does She-Hulk lose her nipples when she hulks out? According to these pajamas, yes.

"Happy Fourth of July, honey. PS: I always thought your bosoms needed more lens flare."

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Truth be told, I'm think of buying this Spider-Girl camisole for the sole purpose of confusing the shit out of burglars.

Rather than buy your gal pal some stylish lingerie, why not buy her a shirt depicting a fictional character wearing lingerie? Lingerie that defeated Sentinels.

On a completely unrelated note, Spencer's is also selling this "Captain America Pimp Stein." Was Marvel's licensing division pounding shots of Smirnoff Ice mixed with AXE Effect the day they signed off on these products? (Hypocrisy alert: I sort of want this.)

[Spencer's via Bleeding Cool]