Fossils of giant Mediterranean rabbits were recently discovered by paleontologists. In honor of the extinct Nuralagus rex, we present to you a round-up of some of the strangest, most frightening cottontails to thankfully never grace our reality.
Tetsuo's Hallucination from Akira
In this anime classic, psychic test subject Tetsuo is attacked by the Espers, a gang of creepy psychokinetic children controlled by the Neo Tokyo military. One of the nightmares the Espsers assail him is with a giant stuffed bunny who bleeds milk (because a 15-foot-tall rabbit golem isn't terrifying enough already).
Twilight Zone: The Movie
In the 1983 update of "It's a Good Life," omniscient demon child Anthony forces his captive "Uncle Walt" to pull some rabbits out of a hat. The first rabbit comes out normal. The second? Not exactly.
The Rabbucks from After Man
In Dougal Dixon's speculative evolution tome After Man: A Zoology of The Future, rabbits have evolved to large herbivorous mammals known as "rabbucks." Here's a puppeted depiction of Dixon's creatures from Japanese television.
Night of the Lepus
In this unintentional camp classic, a small Texas town is besieged by giant rabbits accidentally mutated by a growth hormone. To depict the fluffy goliaths running amok, the filmmakers allowed real rabbits stampede through a scale model. For adorable terror on a more minute scale, see Gabrielle's battle with a bunny from Xena: Warrior Princess.
The Lobo ParaMilitary Christmas Special
And here's some more nightmare fuel to toss on the conflagration that already's a-burning. In this 2002 fan film, a sleazy Easter Bunny hires Lobo to off Santa Claus. I imagine Hop will resemble this.
Frank from Donnie Darko
Frank the harbinger of doom singlehandedly guaranteed that stained bunny costumes will never make for acceptable evening wear.
"Hopping Down The Bunny Trail" from Unexpected
In this 1980 horror yarn, a bunch of children break into a chocolate factory. The Easter Bunny is irked that these kids have been chowing down on chocolate rabbits, so he returns the favor. Read the insanity here.
The Trojan Rabbit
In Monty Python and the Holy Grail, King Arthur and the knights of Camelot attempt to take a castle using the old wooden lagomorph trick (it doesn't exactly work out for them). Of course, they also run into a smaller (but far deadlier) bunny later in their quest.
The rabbit from We3
In Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's Homeward Bound-meets-Terminator miniseries, a black ops government agency places a genetically modified rabbit in a munitions-armed exoskeleton. The bunny may not be as large as these other fluffy weirdos, but its suit packs big firepower.
Rabbot from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
On the very first episode of this stalwart Adult Swim cartoon, a giant robotic rabbit destroys a city. And dances. Or something. We're not really sure, as Aqua Teen episodes are more fever dream, less narrative.
The Easter Bunny from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
I didn't think this guy qualified, but after poring over the YouTube clip like the Zapruder film, he appears to be the height of mid-sized end table. Furthermore, this rabbit resides in Hell. Time and space are kind of meaningless in the underworld. Kudos to absinthetic for the suggestion.
Speaking of fever dreams, here's performance artist/chimerical cosplayer Alex Kovas depicting an extremely jacked rabbit. He also dresses up as psychotically buff unicorns, Dalmatians, and horses (witness his YouTube page). Sure, Bucky O'Hare or Usagi Yojimbo or Jaxxon could have fit the oversized anthropomorphic bunny bill, but we wanted to scar you worse than that Akira clip above. Yes, reality is weirder than fiction.