Sick of vampires who complain about being eternally young and beautiful? Want a vampire whose pain you can laugh at? Behold, the Sabretooth Vampire, who is cursed with an impressive pair of fangs that are more impediment than intimidating.

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Mike Russell, the cartooning journalist behind the "CulturePulp" comics featured in the alt-weekly state newspaper The Oregonian, has been riffing on the notion of the Sabretooth Vampire. Not only has he devised some depressing scenarios for the big-toothed vamp, he's also drawn from a wide range of vampire media, from the Universal Monsters to Abbott and Costello to, yes, Twilight.

Yes, it's a one-note joke, and the Sabretooth Vampire seems forever doomed to lodge his fangs in various surfaces. But somehow the schadenfreude never ceases to amuse.

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The Sabretooth Vampire [CulturePulp]