The Apple is famous as one of the worst movies of all time — a cult classic about a dystopian future in which disco-fascism rules the world. But the final collaboration from Golan-Globus Pictures also deserves some respect: American Cyborg: Steel Warrior is truly an unforgettable film.
Here's a snippet of the film's climax, in which the plucky heroine is attempting to deliver some sort of test-tube baby to the rebels in the post-apocalyptic world ruled by cyborgs. And the Terminator rip-off that's been chasing her for the entire film catches up with her — but she shoots its eye out. (Notice that right afterwards, the gun floats.) The Terminator-wannabe gets its revenge, though — it tosses a hubcap at her. This all leads to a cyborg-on-cyborg battle that beats anything in Terminator Salvation. The Terminator manque's waist cincher turns out to conceal a wee package of ramen noodles, which the heroic cyborg rips out at the right moment. And then the test-tube baby gets handed over —- but is it too late??? Cue incredibly creepy unconvincing fetus puppet.
Oh, and sorry our copy is in German.
There's so much more to appreciate in this film, including post-apocalyptic gangs who go around wearing wayyyy too much makeup, plus stockings and bright red undies that display their, uh, gang signs rather too vividly. And heavily bandaged mutants whose red-faced leader crucifies the main character. And so, so much more. It's not quite The Apple — but it is a worthy addition to the Golan-Globus canon.