In a feat of holiday science, the British Medical Journal has published a paper debunking the Danish urban myth that soaking your toes in alcohol will get you drunk.
Three adults were left to sit with their feet in tubs of vodka for three hours, and their plasma ethanol levels were measured regularly, as too was their self-reported self confidence, urge to speak, and number of spontaneous hugs — the latter of which remained sadly low throughout the test.
It's the opposite of a Christmas Miracle. Denmark is inconsolable. I guess drinkers who don't like to imbibe using their mouths will just have to rely on vapors, snorting, eyeballing, and other orifices.