Madame Rosebud and Little Brooklyn finally get around to reading Twilight


Edward listens for a vampire heartbeat?


This is an erectile dysfunction ad


For Mormons, this counts as third base


Edward displays his usual concern for Bella's needs

Sponsored

Bella realizes that 100 years is a long time to collect venereal diseases


Suddenly, Edward's Spidey sense starts tingling


Now Bella's senses are tingling


"It's OK, it happens to all men"


Edward gropes blindly for relief from his depression


…but for some reason finds no interest in his hand's current purchase


And suddenly it all makes sense


We all knew the Mormons' lack of sex education would come
back to bite them someday


Edward thinks vampire babies gestate in the kneecaps.


Syd is unaware of where he's pointing