Akiva Goldsman is heading up a team that plans to take Troma's marquee character, the Toxic Avenger, and give him a family-friendly makeover. Because, apparently, no one demanded it.
Listen, I love retro-schlock as much as the next guy. No, the other next guy. But I'm having trouble figuring out the upside to purchasing the rights to The Toxic Avenger — and all the sequels and the animated series and the comic books — when it's pretty clear that the franchise has long since run its course. And yet that's exactly what Original Media and Dutch TV company Endemol (the folks behind Big Brother and Deal or No Deal) are doing, and they're making Toxie an environmentally conscious hero to boot.
The only reason the first Toxic Avenger was interesting was because of its sweet, sweet ultraviolence. And sex. And gore. And the lines that Troma was willing to cross, because it had nothing to lose. But to try and turn Toxie into a bland cross-pollination between Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Captain Planet just seems ill-conceived.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Goldsman can find an interesting story to tell about an ex-janitor who, after being doused by mutagenic goop, becomes a misshapen righter-of-wrongs. Maybe kids will totally dig it. But, for now, I'll stick to my guns.