Well hello there everyone. The minion is doing well and she gave me a little break from fatherhood to bring you all a new disaster for the new year.


It's been a little while since I've done a column so for any new readers out there who don't quite get what this is, just insult the column in the comments and someone will explain it for you. And I promise that is the only time I'll use my baby for the header... probably.

So many are comparing it to "Dances With Wolves" but is that really what it borrows from? For your examination I present to you "The Plot of Avatar In Under A Minute, Complete With Visual Aids". Thanks to io9 blog buddy Braak for the Voice Over.

AVATAR PT 2: Helping James Cameron
I hate to sound like I'm flogging a dead six legged horse here, but trust me I'm past denial and onto acceptance. You see, at first I couldn't believe that Cameron used the infamous Papyrus font for Avatar's logo. In the graphic design world Papyrus is mostly used as a cheap graphic shorthand to denote something "earthy" or "spiritual" and I just felt that James Cameron didn't need to resort to such gimmickry to sell a movie. Turns out I was way, way wrong and that man knows what's profitable. So to give him a hand on his next film, Battle Angel, I have taken the liberty and designed an appropriate teaser poster. You see, the film's based on a comic book and it is important to convey that fact to the audience in a quick and easy way. So I present...

After a run of specials that seemed intentionally designed to make us not miss David Tennant (like that's possible) we have a new Doctor right around the corner!!! But in this recent set of stills I couldn't help but notice that I've seen that swaggering time traveler before.

The Mystery Of The Fruit Fly Penis Solved With Lasers:
I didn't actually read this article. I'm sure it was fascinating but I couldn't get past the words Fruit Fly Penis and Lasers.

Maybe some people are apprehensive about this adaptation from Peter Jackson, but I know one funky dude who thinks it's a winner!

I personally couldn't be more excited that they have handed the reigns of Doctor Who over to the man behind "Blink" and "The Library" (Though I am a little bummed that they are bringing the Angels back because they were so brilliantly used that one time and I don't want them to get overused. Not like Who ever overuses any of their villains.). BUT! Who knew that Steven Moffat was also a fan of 4CHAN. Don't believe me? Here you go!

This is Garrison Dean still grumbling about Avatar, but distracting myself with a hunt for a new jacket.